ππ΅π¦π±π© ππ°π¨π¦π³π΄ (
dysmorphics) wrote2026-01-03 02:28 pm
Entry tags:
it's you and me up against the world, it's you and me
I don't need a parachute, baby if I've got you
Baby if I've got you, I don't need a parachute
You're gonna catch me,
You're gonna catch if I fall
( πΆ )

no subject
Her smile softened as he confirmed that he was married to Cap. It was kind of cute, this little honeymoon of theirs through time. "Hope you're going somewhere nice. Maybe somewhere she can wear a bikini. Have you seen her old posters?" Okay, so maybe it had been fanart that she had seen, but it was on the Google so she believed their legitimacy.
Oh, Steph knew Bucky was teasing, but for old times' sake she playfully punched his flesh arm with a soft laugh. It wasn't anywhere near her younger counterpart's bright laughter, but it was a start.
Then she settled more comfortably on the couch next to him. "Well, she did manage to put down a plane with bombs without going down herself." Howard had fished her out of the Atlantic just fine, and there had been a grand homecoming for Captain Carter and the Howling Commandos across the Allied countries. "And she didn't take shit from you." Him. Whatever. He knew what she meant.
She ran a hand through her hair, then started to pull it up to a ponytail out of habit only to realize she didn't have a hair tie and that she had it all pinned up in some post-WW2 hairstyle. "I don't know, Buck. My luck is shit. I think I got everyone, and I saw to Zola myself, but... what if there were others not even you knew or were in HYDRA's files?" She'd compiled and taken a whole list with her to the past β base locations, personnel, sleeper agents β but she couldn't help worrying she'd done a poor job at cleaning up. "And, honestly... there are still wars coming. I don't know what's gonna change. Him being part of SHIELD's top brass will keep me in the know, but..." She trailed off, biting her lower lip uncertainly.
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He shrugged and took another sip of his hot (warm) chocolate before answering. "I don't know where we're going after this. Sky's kinda the limit since she's got that stone or whatever that can take us anywhere," he said, but his curiosity was piqued at the mention of posters. "There's posters of her? Nah, those didn't happen in my timeline. You got any here I can see?"
Sighing, Bucky gave Steph a tired smile. "I don't know. You know what to watch out for, and you know what to warn him and Peggy about, and he can let you know what's going on in SHIELD. Sounds like you guys probably have that whole angle covered."
When he saw her moving to pull her hair up, Bucky took one of the ties off his metal wrist. He usually had a couple of them stashed there. "Here," he said, offering it to her. "If you want you can take all those pins out and use this."
no subject
She slipped off to get her phone, giving her Bucky a wave and a smile as she passed the doorway to the living room. They weren't fighting or arguing or anything, which was a relief. She grabbed the phone from the nightstand on her side of the bed, then on the way back she detoured through the guest room that was now her art room to grab the box where she'd kept Cap's sketchpads and stuff.
Once back in the kitchen β after another passing wave and smile for her boyfriend β she set the box down on the countertop, then fumbled with her phone. She only used few of the apps, as she was still learning. Mostly she just used the messaging app, and the camera, and the default Internet browser. "This is the Google," she said as she showed Bucky the screen. "You just ask a question or name a topic and it'll show you things."
She typed Lady Liberty posters and giggled as she results came up. She handed the phone to him and instructed, "Just tap on the one you want to enlargeβ oh, this one's good!"
Steph had to smile. Bucky had always carried spares for her, even before she got the serum, so it wasn't a surprise that he still did, for his Steph. "Thanks," she said, taking the tie and holding on to it with her lips while her hands removed the pins in her hair. Her Bucky liked her 40s hairstyles, but he'd understand if she wanted to let her hair down a little. (It wasn't like she was always dolled up in bed anyway.)
"That's sweet," she remarked suddenly as she noticed one of the new photos in the living room. She picked up the frame after tying her hair and gingerly ran her fingers over the glass. "You look happy. I'm glad."
A small part of her felt the bittersweet ache of not being the one who made him happy, after all the years of wishing to do just that. But that no longer mattered. He was happy, and healing from the looks of it. She couldn't ask for more.
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When his friend pulled up the Lady Liberty posters, his eyes went wide for a moment. "Holy cow," he said softly, leaning in to get a better look before selecting one to tap on. It had his wife, dressed in what was apparently her tiny little Lady Liberty costume, sitting on top of an airplane with a leg out for some reason. "So, uh, does the Google tell you where I might be able to go buy one of these?" Because he would absolutely get one and hang it up in their place.
The first time his girlfriend scurried past the living room, Bucky gave her a little wave back. But the second time, his hands were full as he was pulling his own hair back, so he just gave her a grin.
Pulling his hair out of his face was a mistake, though, when the larger version of his girlfriend picked up the photo. Grinning softly, he couldn't help the way his cheeks turned just a touch red. "Yeah, she loves to use the camera app, and likes to take selfies of us," he started, laughing softly. "She made me figure out how to get that one printed out for her. Apparently, leaving it on the phone wasn't good enough."
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"Did she tell you she was friends with the Stark guy's kid?" she asked as they scrolled through all sorts of Lady Liberty images. Some were legitimate WW2 posters, but most were fan recreations that ranged from artful homages to, well, the kind Steph would sketch in her secret art book.
She wasn't surprised by his interest in purchasing some of the posters. "I think so... we can buy everything from the Google now and have them delivered here. I'm gonna have to ask him. Or we can print these out!" She didn't really know the details, but her Bucky managed to print the pictures of them on his phone at her insistence.
"There are also lots of Captain America stuff, if you wanna bring back some." She showed him a bunch of merch, from shirts and hoodies to mugs to little action figures. Cap was one of the most beloved people in the world.
"Him, too, but with his camera." Steph shook her head a little, though she was smiling. "I guess it helps that they don't see strangers in their reflections."
Their situation was hardly comparable, but they were alike in not wanting to look at the mirror. For so long she couldn't recognize who was staring back at her, then her image became a dreadful reminder of her failures. Her husband, at least, was helping remedy that. It also was helpful, in a way, that because she lived in the 40s now, even with her new body she looked more like her old self, with the hairstyles and clothes and everything. Even her Brooklyn accent had started to crawl back into her voice.
"Sorry we interrupted your evening. I forgot I don't live here anymore." She glanced around wistfully, before her gaze settled on the suitcases. "We brought her stuff, in case she wanted them."
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Bucky looked back at the phone to see the Captain America items, perking a brow at them. "Damn. She's really famous here, huh?" he asked, grinning just slightly. In his mind, Steph--both versions of her--deserved all the recognition in the world. "I might want something like that, but I know I need that poster. Maybe just a hat or something, mostly so people don't mix me up with your guy so often." Especially if the man had a trial coming up, last thing Bucky wanted was to be hauled off because of somewhat-mistaken identity.
Maybe he should just walk around in short sleeves while he was there.
"I don't even remember what that feels like," Bucky said, his tone resigned. While his changes weren't the same as Steph's, he knew what it was like to have part of his body not be his. And for a long time there, nothing about him was his own. He still had moments where he saw the Winter Soldier in the mirror instead of the man he was now.
But those times were slowly becoming less frequent, thankfully.
"Don't be sorry, it's fine," Bucky said with a shake of his head. "We needed to hash things out anyway, didn't we? But I'm sure she'll like her things. You can take whatever back you want."
Sighing, he turned to look at her again. She looked about as tired as he felt. "You two wanna stay here or are you staying somewhere else?"
no subject
Speaking of stuff, she grew a bit more serious as she turned her attention to the box she'd brought in. She slowly slid it toward Bucky. "These are her sketchbooks and journals, or at least the ones I found. She's very talented." They might be the same person, but Cap had had years to improve on her craft. Her recent pieces were particularly striking and evocative.
"N-No, I don't wanna impose," Steph said, shaking her head. Aside from wanting to give them privacy to go about their intimate business, she also wanted to give Bucky room to talk about her with the other Steph. He might still have some misgivings or heartaches he'd rather discuss with his girlfriend than her. "We'll find a hotel. I'm sure there's room somewhere."
Then her expression turned hopeful. "But maybe we can hang out again sometime?" She sounded uncertain, like she was already bracing herself for rejection, which stemmed from the times in their past when he'd inadvertently made her feel spurned. "We also gotta talk about the trial, but outside of that, I mean. I can bring pizza and we can watch a movie?" Then, in her desperation for him to say yes, she added, "She can join us, it's no problem. It's not a date, just friends hanging out."
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He gestured towards the entryway with one hand, where they left the suitcases. "A lotta what we brought you is your sketchbooks and journals, too, but there's some other stuff in there also." A little bit of clothes, some things they just thought Steph might want, that sort of thing.
"I get it," Bucky said simply, nodding. "But the offer's there if you change your mind, alright?" He got it, though. Especially considering how busy Bucky had been with his girlfriend when the other two showed up.
"I do want to hang out some," he added, that tired grin coming back a little. "Both to talk about trial things and to just... hang out. And from what we've heard from the kitchen, I bet she'd like to spend some more time with him, too."
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"Thank you." Steph appeared visibly relieved by Bucky's acceptance of her offer. "I could use a drink. Living through all that shit again was... stupid." He said it at the same time as she did, and that drew a weak laugh out of her. "If you're out of the stuff, I'll ring up New Asgard and place an order."
She had a long list of things she had to do while she was back in her time, but certain stuff took precedence. Repairing her relationship with her best friend as much as she could was among her priorities, though she would probably spend her whole life doing that, in the same way she knew she would have to with her husband. She had so much to make up for, after how badly she'd fucked up.
"Let me know when you're free and I'll come by then." She didn't expect them to hang out the next day, as he surely already had plans with his girl. "We'll leave the suitcases too, so she has time to look through them."
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"You've always been talented as hell, Steph. Even when we were just kids, so you'd better keep at it."
"I haven't really touched what you left," he answered, shrugging. "I didn't know how to get more, so I figured I'd save it for... I don't know. A special occasion or a particularly low night. Something like that." It could have gone either way, really. But, at least with his girlfriend there his nights hadn't been as low as they could be. Or as low as they had been in the past.
"But you could always get some delivered here to take back with you if you want. Or whatever else you need. I don't mind hanging onto it." He didn't think she would want to take much back with her, because too many things could make people ask questions, but if they wanted some things, he'd understand.
"I'm usually free. So just, I don't know. Call and make sure we're here or something?"
no subject
She then reached for the box, pulling out a large envelope, where she'd stashed the questionable sketchbooks separately. "I'm willing to bet these are the exact same ones Becca held back." At some point in time she and Cap had been the same person, after all. "But you'll probably be allowed to look." She left it at that and a small, teasing smile.
It wasn't the first time for Bucky to compliment her art, but she found herself ducking her head anyway. "I've been practicing with colors," she told him, unable to keep the excitement from her voice. "I could sketch you in color when we go to Coney Island, if you like?" It'll be her gift for him, a thank you and a goodbye, and she could finally draw his eyes in the right color.
"You mind if I take a bottle tonight? You can have the rest, and I'll give you the Asgardians' contact details." It was an excuse to get Bucky acquainted with people who might be able to help him down the road; it had never been Steph's intention to leave him without allies. Hopefully some of them would become his friends, too.
Speaking of friends, she was also hoping to talk to him about her plans for the shield and Sam, but that was a conversation for another time. "I'll leave that here too, okay?" With a tilt of her head, she gestured toward the round bag that obviously held the shield. "I'd just rather not carry it around anymore." Something in her voice said she was done done.
no subject
He had just been so angry that they hadn't mentioned Steph disappeared. Bucky had spent so long hanging onto that idea of getting home and finally telling Steph exactly how he felt and, if she'd have him, asking her to marry him. Instead he got home to discover his parents kept her disappearance a secret for years.
But at the mention of colors his smile became a bit more genuine again. "Yeah, we can do that if you want. I feel like we're gonna have plenty of time to fill while those two are getting ready for the trial."
"Take as much as you want, it's literally yours," Bucky said with another shrug. "I wouldn't mind knowing how to get more, though, so you can definitely leave me that info." He hadn't had so much as a buzz since 1943, so that would be nice. Probably.
It was good he didn't have access to that stuff when he was at his worst, though. When he was struggling to get his mind back together. Might have been a problem back then.
"You can leave that, too, if you want. As long as you don't expect me to use it." After all, Bucky had zero interest in taking up Steph's shield. Did he know how to use it? Yes. Did he want to use it? Not even slightly. He wanted to retire. Maybe live quietly with his girl. Carrying the shield and living quietly did not go hand in hand.
no subject
It took her a moment to realize she was blinking back tears. Not of sadness though, but joy, and relief. He made home from the war, and while it hadn't been to her arms, per se, it was still to someone he loved and loved him just as much. She only ever wanted him to be happy. He would be now.
"And yours," Steph reminded. It wasn't just her bank account she'd intended to leave him; everything she owned, in this timeline at least, Bucky now shared. It was the least she could do.
At his outright refusal of the shield, she laughed. "Only if you wanted to. I thought you liked the uniform," she teased, calling back to that time he teased her about hers. She had no idea if he remembered that exchange though, with how fragmented his memory had been.
She'd considered him, of course. Despite what he thought of himself and what HYDRA had made him do, she believed he best embodied what the shield stood for. And, well, if anything it would be good optics, especially with his trial coming up. But she was through making him unhappy and making decisions for him; what was really fucked up about what she did, she realized now, was once more putting him in a position where he had no choice, after all the decades under HYDRA's control. Never again.
She looked at the picture in the frame again, her expression turning wistful. "But I think it's time you came home, Sarge." Tears welled in her eyes and she swiped at them with the back of her free hand. She only ever wanted him to be happy. He would be now.
no subject
"But we're getting better now. Even before she showed up, I'd at least started going to Sunday dinners again." For a long time the dinners ranged between awkward and awful, more recently with his Ma encouraging him to get out there and meet someone, like he was just going to get over his loss. The only reason that stopped was literally because he showed up married to a taller version of his best friend.
"Legally it is, sure," he said, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked over at his best friend. "I don't need a lot, though." He'd lived off of nothing but what he found in HYDRA safe houses when he was on the run, then after his cryo in Wakanda he lived in a literal hut on a goat farm. The apartment was the nicest place he'd lived in eighty years.
"Honestly? I mostly spend it on her," Bucky added with a shrug. "Clothes and doctors and all that. Got her some inhalers, some glasses, even a thing for her glasses that lets her see blues." Looking towards the kitchen, his smile widened a bit at the memory of the first time she used the clip-on with her glasses, and how taken was with how much blue there was. "Next week we're supposed to get her fitted for a hearing aid."
He was well aware that wasn't the extent of Steph's medical issues, but they had other appointments set up for other things. Bucky was determined to take the best care of her possible.
no subject
Releasing him, she said, "We should probably go. Lemme just grab a bottle, and him on the way back." She felt like a guest in her former apartment now, and she didn't feel comfortable moving around without his permission. So when she did, it was simply to go to the guest room β now an art room, which she was glad to see β to pull out a bottle of Asgardian mead from a secret compartment in the dresser, then to the kitchen to collect her husband.
"Sorry to interrupt," she said as she peeked in, her eyes not yet quite back to normal after all that crying. She cradled the bottle in the crook of her arm. "We've finished our, um, business. But if you need more time..."
no subject
With that, he said his goodbyes and headed out the door with his wife, even giving the other Bucky a nod as the older one showed up to walk them to the door.
After telling them to be careful (a pointless thing to say, he knew), the older Bucky closed the door behind him and moved to his Steph. "You alright?"
no subject
Her arms tightened around him as she squeezed, not that she could ever fully wrap them around his body. "You wanna talk about what happened, or should we just get back in bed?" She had never pried or pushed him to talk about things; she knew he would, if he felt he needed to. But the offer was there, for whatever he might need.
"Well, I got us booze," Steph said once they were outside, holding up the bottle. It didn't look like anything special, but she'd had it before and knew what kind of punch it packed.
Her eyes were still red-rimmed, which she tried to hide from him by pulling out her phone and typing something on it. "Lemme just book us a hotel." By herself she'd have gone straight to a motel, she wasn't fussed β especially after all those years on the run and out the front lines of the war, again. But he deserved a little pampering after everything, and they hadn't exactly had a proper honeymoon yet. So she made some calls and booked a penthouse suite on the fanciest available hotel in Manhattan that weekend.
Not that it was clear until they got in a cab and she told the driver their destination. The cabbie had a strange look on his face, which eventually turned out to be barely held excitement, for as they started the ride he couldn't help but ask, "You're her, right? Captain America?"
Right. Steph forgot she was famous in this timeline.
not me deciding to split this into two threads lol
But a lot of the air had been cleared, so Bucky thought they'd be okay.
"I'm not gonna fall asleep any time soon," he told her with a sigh. "But we can lie down if you want. Or see what stuff they brought you. I'm fine with either." And if he felt like talking, he could do it in bed or while they looked at things.
all good to me XD
She went for the suitcases them, lifting the weird hammer paperweight off one of them to open it. (Did it really fly? It looked like it did, but how did that even work?) Anyway, she hit jackpot: her sketchpads were there, wrapped in one of her skirts. She pulled them out carefully, grinning at how Cap had marked the ones Becca kept out of Bucky's hands by a scarf.
Finding the one she wanted shortly after, she headed back to their bedroom. "Don't laugh, okay?" She handed it to him, blushing all the way to her neck. "So, um, I kinda did all these because, you know."
The first few pages were portraits of him, but seemingly from every year as there was a clear progression from the boy who just moved into town to the man who left to fight in the war, all sharp in his Army uniform. Then the sketches got interesting. There was a bunch of him shirtless; at the beach, in her kitchen, then in what had to be the doorway to her bedroom, framed by shadows that indicated evening. After which the drawings evolved to scenes that never happened β or at least not until she landed in the future and in his bed.
no subject
When Steph climbed onto the bed with him, offering a sketchbook, he tugged her into his side before taking it, just wanting her close.
"Is this all me?" he asked, one brow perked once he realized the first few pages were, in fact, all portraits of him. But he was smiling softly as he looked at them, not just from seeing the pictures but from seeing a timeline of her art getting steadily better and better.
There was a part of him that wanted to ask if she was disappointed she didn't get the young, whole man she'd imagined, but he decided against voicing that particular question. She seemed happy with him so far, at least, so he was going to leave it at that for the time being.
Instead, he paused on one of her later drawings, smirking at the scene they'd definitely recreated since her arrival. "I didn't know you could draw the future, sweetheart," he teased.
no subject
She sat up a bit straighter to see which one he was referring to, her blush darkening when she did. "Wait, I gottaβ" She grabbed the pad from him, then the bag of pencils she kept on the nightstand on her side of the bed. Picking out a blue one along with a regular pencil, she colored his eyes, then shaded his left arm. It was a quick job, but she even managed to show the little grooves in his metal arm, in a way.
"There we go," she said, satisfied. She handed it back to him. "I'll do the others later."
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The smile was still on his face when he slid into the cab, but it shifted to a look of surprise when she said where they were going. "Hey, you didn't need to shell out for all that," he told her, just before the driver asked if she was Captain America.
That definitely brought his amused smile back, glad to see her being the one to get all the attention in this world. She deserved it, she could have it. Even back home he didn't really want it in the first place.
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She waved off his protest about their hotel, though she was unable to verbalize it because the cabbie engaged her in conversation. As she responded to the driver, she reached out and squeezed Bucky's leg to let him know they'll resume later. It was strange, to be dealing with the spotlight again after years of being a ghost, but old habits died hard and she navigated the conversation with Cap's renowned charm. She was always nice and friendly to the ordinary people, to the oppressed, to the underdogs, to the youth and children. The cabbie dropped them off with a generous tip and a selfie.
Similar interactions took place with the lady on the front desk, the bellboy who showed them to their suite, and the housekeeping personnel who wheeled in a fruit basket, some cakes and welcome drinks. When she closed the door to some privacy at last, she found Bucky looking at her with amusement.
"What?" she asked, blushing. Okay, so she was famous. Big deal. As if he wasn't in his timeline. He even still received marriage proposals in the mail and everything.
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"I like seeing you get the recognition you deserve," he said with a smile. "Plus, I think you're more famous here than I am back home. It's nice."
It wasn't like he could be surprised she was as famous as she was. Steph was, after all, a knockout of a woman who had made history and saved the world multiple times.
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All she really had was her art, and her love for him. It was probably why she had a soft spot for those silly romance novels about them, and she didn't mind being painted as someone who did all that for love. Because she did.
Enough about her though. "You okay?" Clearly, tiny Steph had refused to go back with him, and she wasn't really sure how he was taking that. Sure, they were married, but this was... weird territory. She wouldn't at all be surprised if he was heartbroken by it, or if he still had feelings for the girl he grew up with. That was why she grabbed the mead, in case he needed it. She might need it too, after all that.
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