dysmorphics | it's you and me up against the world, it's you and me

Hearing that almost felt like a weight lifting off Bucky's shoulders, even as Steph draped herself across his body. But, hers was a weight he'd gladly carry any time.

Not that there was much of it. She was tiny, after all.

"I'm sticking with you, Steph," he said, the relief clear in his voice. Deep down, he knew it might have sounded a little harsh, but it was true that he and the older Steph probably had too much darkness in the both of them. Finding their less traumatized counterparts was, honestly, probably the best for both of them. Hopefully, it was good for the younger Steph and Bucky, too.

"For the record, the government doesn't listen to her just cause of that shield she carried," Bucky pointed out. "If they did, she wouldn't have had to spend a couple years on the run." Sighing softly, Bucky pulled one of their blankets over their bodies. "We'll work it out, though. Whatever happens."

"Whatever happens." Steph tilted her head to kiss Bucky's jaw. "I already have a plan anyway, just in case. I just need to talk to her friends."

Actually, she was pretty sure Cap had an emergency protocol too. She seemed to have thought of everything except how Bucky would've felt being left behind, but then she was operating on the assumption that he didn't want her. Steph understood; she'd have been so confused if she was with him for years on the front lines without anything having changed. It really was tragic, the pair of them. And so dumb.

"I know it's hard when you're hurting," she said after a moment, back to resting her head on his chest, "but please believe me that I don't wanna be where you aren't. My life is here now. You are my life now." It wasn't hard to say such things now that they had nothing to fear about the different layers of their relationship. They could still be great friends even as they had sex everyday and lusted after each other.

Bucky wrapped his arms--both of them, even the cold metal one--around her, hugging her tightly. "Good," he started. "Because I already told you, you're it for me." It was always going to be Steph or no one for Bucky, but now it was this particular Steph or no one. She wasn't cursed with having seen what the Winter Soldier was like, and she was just... good for him. He could tell.

He hoped he was good for her in return, and not just by dragging her from doctor to doctor.

"Just promise to talk to me if that ever changes, alright?" Of course he hoped it wouldn't change, but if they talked maybe they could actually work out things as they came up.

This time Steph rolled her eyes at Bucky. "I dunno about you, but I already learned my lesson about not talking." Sure, not talking brought them here, to each other, but he and Cap could've been spared from a lot of pain if they only talked.

Then she snuggled into him again. "And you can tell me anything too, you know that, right? I usually just don't ask because I don't wanna put you on the spot. I can wait until you're ready. But I'm here, okay?" She was ready to share the weight of his dark past, or hold his dark thoughts when things became too much. She loved him, and that was just part of that.

"You can ask me anything you want, Steph," Bucky told her as he let one of his hand rub small circles on the skin of her back. "I'll let you know if it's something I'm not ready to talk about, but you can ask anything. How's that sound?"

He was reaching the point with her that he didn't think she was going to bolt once she found out more about his past and what he was made to do, so there were more and more questions he'd be willing to answer. Plus, she should probably hear about most of the stuff from him before the trial anyway. He would hate for her to just... hear what he did on the news or something, his words and actions twisted to suit the whims of whatever station was reporting it.

And Steph had so many questions. Why Bucky was spooked by that weird red book. The extent of what he'd done as the Soldier, without other people altering his truth. What he still had nightmares about.

"Okay, deal," she said, then pushed herself up just a little so she could look at his face. "I have one now, actually. What don't you want us doing when we fuck?"

She grinned, watching surprise flicker in his expression. It wasn't that she wasn't being serious about his offer, but she figured he'd already had enough heavy conversations today.

Bucky couldn't help laughing at her question. Compared to what he half expected her to ask, it was such a simple, light thing. "I don't know," he started with a grin on his face. "I don't know how I'd take being tied up or anything. Probably not well."

Reaching up, he pushed her hair out of her face again as he added, "I still think it'd be hot on you, don't get me wrong. That's just a me thing. I think I'm pretty open to anything else with you. Only you, though. None of that three-person stuff like that one video had." He didn't know of anything else he didn't think he'd like with her, at least. But his knowledge of what crazy stuff modern people got up to in bed these days was pretty limited.

Bucky's laughter was always worth the effort. Contagious, too.

"Yeah, no, it's just gonna be us, always." As hot as it might be to have a dick in her mouth and inside her at the same time, like in that video. And it was nice to know he wasn't interested in it either, though she would've sucked up her pride if he wanted to try having several women pleasure him. Anything for him, really.

Steph snuggled back into him. So she was right about the tying up, but it wasn't hard to come to that conclusion after learning he'd been forced to do things as the Soldier. "You gonna tie me up naked or with some cute lingerie?" She'd been eyeing a couple others in various styles and colors. Though remembering what he said about her dress, she added, as an afterthought, "I can get a blue one."

"Hey, who says it has to be just one or the other?" Bucky's grin turned a little more smirky when he asked that. "You could always start in some kind of cute little number, then end up naked. Or we could just do it more than once if you like it."

Bucky rolled them so she was lying on top of his good arm, but he continued to hold her close. "You do look damn good in blue, though. All shades of it, really, but it's best when the blue matches your eyes."

Not that Bucky would complain about Steph in any color of sexy lingerie.

Bucky could probably tell Steph's already liking the idea of doing it more than once. She might not have his stamina, but she was insatiable in a different way. "Blue then, but you better not rip it in your excitement."

Actually, that would be kind of hot. A waste of money, but hot.

Speaking of clothes, she wondered, "You think my old clothes won't be too out of style? They're still good." She already had a decent assortment in her closet, but she rather liked some of her old dresses, even if they were, by today's standards, 'vintage'.

"I make no promises," Bucky told her with a smirk. Honestly, he probably wouldn't rip it or anything, he hadn't done that to anything she wore yet, but just in case. Besides, it might be kinda hot to tear her clothes off her while her hands were tied.

"Next time we go out somewhere you should take a good look at the people around us," he added when she asked about her old clothes. "I don't think people care all that much about if things are a different style any more. And some people really like things that are vintage or antique." Shuri called Bucky an antique plenty of times, but he was pretty sure she meant it as a joking insult. Steph would like her.

"God, you're so sexy," Steph blurted out, unable to stop herself. It wasn't just that gorgeous smirk; the thought of Bucky tearing her clothes off her while her hands were tied was already turning her on. She was going to have to do some more shopping. He said they had more than enough to splurge once in a while, didn't he?

Until then, she was just going to have to draw it.

The talk of 'vintage' and 'antique' made her laugh. "I guess that's what we both are. Might as well live up to it." Not that she expected him to go back to wearing suits. She liked his new look anyway, since it showed off his body far better than all those layers and formality. "You wanna go out for lunch or dinner sometime?"

Bucky couldn't help laughing again. "Steph, that's what I'm usually thinking when I look at you." No, she wasn't built like a pinup girl, or like the serum made the one he went to war with, but Bucky had always thought she was beautiful and sexy, even when she didn't seem to agree.

"We can go whenever you want," he grinned. "I heard about a giant used bookstore that I thought we should check out anyway." From what he understood, the bookstore was massive, and even had a selection of other things, like old vinyl records.

And so they went on Monday.

Steph figured Monday would at least be quieter, not that New York City was ever truly quiet. (Except after the Snap, but she hadn't been around for that.) It was as much for her as it was for Bucky; she was still adjusting to the modern world's hustle and bustle, and he disliked crowds.

That and she wanted to wait for the delivery of her new lingerie set. It was blue, mostly see-through, and barely there that she felt naked underneath her dress — also blue, and one of his favorites. Completing the look was a 'vintage inspired' hairstyle from a YouTube tutorial. It was a date, after all.

New Yorkers normally minded their own businesses, but she still noticed some glances their way as they walked hand-in-hand toward the bookstore. Maybe it was her outdated fashion style. Or maybe because she looked positively tiny next to him, they probably thought she was underage or something. Thankfully she had the foresight to grab one of Cap's fake IDs (in a stash Steph found containing bags of cash and several firearms) in case people thought to card her.

They made a beeline for the science fiction and fantasy section. Sure enough, there were several special editions of Tolkien's works, which delighted her. "Which ones do you want? And you're not allowed to say no, or let me choose for you."

While Steph looked beautiful beside him, Bucky was in a Henley, a coat, and some gloves. But, to be fair, while he had been focused on getting things for his tiny girlfriend since she arrived, he didn't actually have all that much when it came to things like clothes. Or just... things he picked out. Still, he'd cleaned himself up a good bit, trying to be a bit less scruffy looking for her, and selected his least worn-out pieces of clothing for their date.

And the only reason he paid any attention whatsoever to the looks they got was to make sure people weren't recognizing him. Because, to him, of course people would notice a beautiful woman walking down the street.

"I don't need anything fancy," Bucky told her as they looked over the books, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he noticed a set of five hardbacks, with the spine of The Hobbit looking a hell of a lot like the copy he had decades ago. He tucked the collection in his arm, then led her to the sections for a couple of other science fiction authors he'd heard were good, grabbing a short story collection from each of them before giving Steph a smile.

"Anyone you wanna look for? Or any genre?" he asked, draping his arm over her shoulders as he held her close to his side. "They've also got records here. Somewhere." The store was massive, and he'd never been there before, but he was sure they would find them. Eventually.

Steph watched Bucky pick out his books with a soft smile. Even after everything he'd been through there was still a part of him that was the boy she remembered. More than that, he seemed happy enough with their date so far, despite the looks that came their way.

"Not for me, but—" She took his free hand in his and tugged him toward the non-fiction section. The bookstore did not disappoint; there were shelves on New York's celebrated heroes, past and present. She perused the selection and pulled out practically anything that had Cap's picture or name on it (including related terms like Lady Liberty, the Howling Commandos, and the Avengers) until she had a stack in her arms.

"He'll like these," she said as she found a table to go through the stack, rereading the summaries on the back and sorting them into two piles. She still hadn't found him the poster he wanted, but she thought her best friend might appreciate all these information about his wife, even if some might just be mere speculation. He couldn't just look things up on the Google, after all.

It took Bucky a minute to figure out why Steph would want books about the older version, but once he did he grinned a bit. The books would probably annoy his best friend a bit, but he thought it was amusing.

And he knew that he would have liked those books when he was younger, if he was in the other man's situation.

Once his girlfriend picked some out Bucky grabbed the rest and put them away, then grabbed one of the store's branded totes they sold so they could carry their growing collection easier. Might as well get one of those, too. Then, he led Steph over to the section with all the art books. Some on art history, some coffee table books, some on how to draw manga (whatever that was), it was all there. "I know you're going to want something from here."

Steph boggled at the selection. There were so many! How could she even choose? Under Bucky's expectant gaze, she started picking up those with covers and titles that looked interesting and flipped through them. Then she checked the price and debated on whether she really wanted them or not, after which she put most of them back on the shelves. She'd had no such hesitations with her picks for her best friend.

She ended up with only three books: a coloring book, The Colour Bible: The Definitive Guide to Colour in Art and Design, and Watercolor Painting for Dummies. "We can always come back," she told him when he asked if she was sure that was all, hugging the books to her chest.

Before he could pick up more books for her, she said, "Oh, I almost forgot—" and bolted toward the historical fiction section. She did almost forget, but it was a good excuse to make herself scarce. What she wanted was easy to find though: the bookstore, too, had a shelf of Lady Liberty novels.

She rummaged through her handbag and pulled out her little notebook, on which she had a list of titles in one of the pages. When Bucky caught up with her, she gave him a sheepish smile. "He's gonna like these too," she said, in her other hand a WW2-era romance novel with a cover that almost looked like... well, them.

Bucky couldn't help grinning at the way Steph took off like an excited little imp, but took the opportunity to grab a couple (or four) of the books he'd noticed her debating over the most and added them to the bag. It was sweet how she was more focused on getting things for him and his counterpart than she was on things for herself, but Bucky wanted to get gifts for her.

Once that was done, he grabbed another one of those tote bags because it was clear they already needed it, and followed after her. When he saw what she held up to show him he laughed. "What the hell is that?" he asked, reaching out to take the novel from her. It definitely bore a resemblance.

Shaking his head, he dropped the novel into the empty bag before holding it open for her. "Just put what we're getting him in here. It'll make it easier when we go to sort things out." Then he paused. "If you promise to find some more stuff you want, I'll even go back and grab a Tolkien set for him, too." The Lord of the Rings books hadn't been out yet in his time, after all.

"Romance novels inspired by your lives," Steph answered, grabbing a couple more of them and putting them in one of the tote bags. Inspired by was putting it lightly. Based on her research, these were written and published after their supposed deaths, and they rewrote history to give them happily ever afters. She was curious enough to want to try reading one before she forked it over to her best friend.

Accepting his offer, she led him to the romance section. She didn't have anything particular in mind; it was just the genre she used to read back in her time. She ended up choosing The Time Traveler's Wife, something titled A Knight in Shining Armor which also had some time travel, and Fourth Wing and A Court of Thorns and Roses from the popular books table, titles she'd come across during her Internet searches.

"And maybe some comics?" Which landed them in the manga section, as she found herself more fascinated by the black-and-white Japanese style illustrations than the Western ones. She picked the first volumes of works by different artists, more interested in the style than the story.

She caught Bucky looking over her shoulder with interest. "You can understand this?" she asked, remembering how he knew many languages except French now.

Bucky followed along behind, happy to see her picking out whatever she wanted and shoving them into the bags as he took them from her hands. But when she started flipping through one of the thick comics he was surprised. "Yeah, it's in Japanese. You read it from right to left, and you start on what we think of as the back page." Which meant the pictures went from right to left as well.

He looked back at the shelf and chuckled a little. "Looks like most of these are in English, but there's a few Japanese ones mixed in." Why there were comics in Japanese there, he had no idea. But, it was what it was. "It's pretty, though."

Smiling, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned down to press a kiss to her head. "Get as many as you want, sweetheart. Then we'll go look at the records."

"I love the style," Steph gushed. She didn't care if she didn't really understand the words. Almost shyly, she slipped it into the bag, then added three more.

Records were easier. She was never much for music, but the few modern songs she'd heard, she didn't get the vibe. Which meant she mostly put Cap's records on repeat whenever she was in the mood. Her counterpart was missing some other singers from their time though, which were what Steph chose. Mostly the jazz ones, to dance to — Glenn Miller, Duke Ellington.

Their tote bags were close to bursting by the time they finished. "I think we should save the antiques shop for next time." Between the books and lunch, they were spending quite a bit, and she still wasn't all that comfortable with that. You could take the girl out of the Great Depression, but you couldn't take the Great Depression out of the girl.

In the end, after doing as he promised and grabbing one more set of the Tolkien books, Bucky ended up having to grab a third tote bag. But it was fine. They'd be able to just put all the things Steph had picked out for his counterpart into one bag and send it with him.

He ignored the double take the cashier did when checking out the Lady Liberty books, then once they finished and paid, he carried the three bags out easily in his left hand as though they weighed nothing as they left the store. "So, what do you want to eat for lunch?" he asked with a grin. The sun was bright that day, so he pulled his sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and slid them on as he watched her. "Any kind of food you want. If you name something, I'm sure we can find somewhere that's got it."

The cashier's gaze followed them until she had to ring up the next customer. Steph hoped it was only because of their height difference, and not because she recognized Bucky. She wasn't actually sure what the public thought of the Soldier, or if they were even aware there was going to be a trial. Regardless, she just didn't want anything to ruin their date. It was going really well so far.

Until the next dilemma: lunch. She hadn't gone out in ages, let alone anywhere fancy. And while she would rather let him decide, she was aware he still struggled with decisions at times. Not wanting to trigger that, she took a moment to think and eventually chose, "Pasta?"

Bucky steered them to the side so they wouldn't be in the way as he pulled off his right glove with his teeth and pulled out his phone to began to look up the closest good Italian places, then paused. The comics she picked out made him think of something. "You want to try a different kind of noodles instead of just Italian food?" When he got the go-ahead, Bucky switched his search to Japanese restaurants. Yaki udon dishes were delicious. Even he knew that much.

He also knew sushi was delicious, and it had been a while since he'd had any.

In no time he'd found where a place with good reviews was, so he put his phone away, replaced his glove, and took Steph's hand again. "There's a place just a couple blocks from here, so we can walk it," he told her as he led the way.

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