dysmorphics | it's you and me up against the world, it's you and me

The cashier's gaze followed them until she had to ring up the next customer. Steph hoped it was only because of their height difference, and not because she recognized Bucky. She wasn't actually sure what the public thought of the Soldier, or if they were even aware there was going to be a trial. Regardless, she just didn't want anything to ruin their date. It was going really well so far.

Until the next dilemma: lunch. She hadn't gone out in ages, let alone anywhere fancy. And while she would rather let him decide, she was aware he still struggled with decisions at times. Not wanting to trigger that, she took a moment to think and eventually chose, "Pasta?"

Bucky steered them to the side so they wouldn't be in the way as he pulled off his right glove with his teeth and pulled out his phone to began to look up the closest good Italian places, then paused. The comics she picked out made him think of something. "You want to try a different kind of noodles instead of just Italian food?" When he got the go-ahead, Bucky switched his search to Japanese restaurants. Yaki udon dishes were delicious. Even he knew that much.

He also knew sushi was delicious, and it had been a while since he'd had any.

In no time he'd found where a place with good reviews was, so he put his phone away, replaced his glove, and took Steph's hand again. "There's a place just a couple blocks from here, so we can walk it," he told her as he led the way.

Steph loved holding Bucky's hand, even with a glove and all. It was just nice, to stay connected. She liked being close to him, nevermind that they'd spent nearly all of their time together since she arrived. Which really wasn't new, if they thought about it. They'd been practically glued at the hip since they were children.

Having never had Japanese food before, she let him order enough to share. She liked the ramen; the broth was incredibly rich, and it warmed her after that walk in the chilly autumn air. The dumplings were tasty too.

"Best date I've ever had," she said, grinning. Technically only her second date, and that last one was a disaster, so it was really a low bar. "Thank you."

"We can go out any time you want, sweetheart," he told her with a warm smile. "Anywhere you want." No, he wasn't a fan of crowds anymore, but he would put up with them if it would make her happy. Bucky liked seeing Steph happy more than he disliked crowds, and that was saying something.

Bucky mostly let Steph have the ramen to herself, but with his appetite the way it was, he also ordered a large plate of chicken yaki udon, the vegetable and shrimp tempura appetizer, and an assortment of sushi and sashimi, letting his girlfriend have whatever she wanted out of the whole ordeal.

"But when you think about it, it's the same sort of thing we've always done." Just more expensive. And with more hand-holding and kissing. Bucky had always liked taking Steph places he thought she'd like, though.

It was true. They did hang out a lot back then, just without any kissing. A wistful expression crossed Steph's face as she, fleetingly, wondered how different things would have been. She certainly wouldn't have needed to throw a jealous fit and rip the seams of Bucky's shirt.

That was all in the past now though. Between living with the love of her life and not feeling like she was at the brink of death thanks to modern medicine, she could hope for and look forward to good things. More dates. More hand holding and more kissing. More orgasms.

"Maybe once in a while. I'm happy to stay in and just have food delivered anyway." For one thing, it was much cheaper. But she was also just mindful of his aversion to crowds.

"You like the Japanese food?" he asked before popping a piece of sushi into his mouth. Grinning as he chewed, he picked up a piece of his stir-fried chicken with his chopsticks and held it across the booth for her. Really, Bucky had only eaten Japanese food a couple of times before, but he remembered liking it a lot.

He watched her as she ate, the smile staying in place. It was good to see her eating to her fill instead of trying to hold back to reserve her funds or save things for later. They had more than enough to live off of for a good long while now, and there was no rationing going on like there was when Steph came from.

"So what do you wanna do after this?" he asked after she took the bite from his chopsticks. "Wanna find somewhere else to visit, or do you wanna just head home?" It really was great to share a home with her. First off, it was nice to actually feel like he has a home for the first time in decades, but it was made even better by having her with him there.

"Yeah, it's really good. I should learn how to make these." Steph had always liked cooking for Bucky, even if she wasn't particularly great at it. There were video tutorials on the Google now though, which were relatively easy to follow for the most part. Plus, the modern world had an abundance of spices and seasoning. With time and dedication, she was sure she could manage.

Using chopsticks might be a little more of a challenge.

Her eyes lit up when their dessert of fluffy pancakes arrived. She sliced off half for herself, then left him the rest, as she was already close to bursting. "Maybe we can walk for a bit before heading home? I'm really full," she admitted shyly, still getting used to a life where there was no rationing and they could afford the occasional indulgence. "We can take some pictures."

Knowing Steph would probably have an issue with the chopsticks, he'd made sure she got a regular fork with her meal alongside the chopsticks. That way she could try them, then switch if she felt like she needed to. Which she had. Quickly.

"I bet you'll figure it out in no time," he said, the grin still on his face as she halved the pancakes. "But a walk sounds good." It might be a bit chilly out, but he didn't mind if she didn't.

Besides, he could warm her up once they got home.

Once they'd finished their food--Bucky finishing everything off so they didn't have any leftovers to carry home--he paid the bill along with a nice tip, then took her by the hand again as they left the building. "I figure we can just peek in some store windows or something for a little while. That alright?" Plus, if she saw something she was interested in, they could always go inside and check it out.

Either way, they were probably going to have to catch a cab later to get back to Brooklyn since the store he'd wanted to take her to was in Manhattan.

"Yeah. We can get you a new shirt. You bought clothes for me the last time." There was nothing wrong with Bucky's clothes, but Steph noticed he had so few pieces and thought he could use a couple more, even if he just wanted more of the same.

She let him lead the way, content to follow him through the crowd. The modern world continued to be a marvel, between the technological advancements, the architectural wonders, and how there were just so many people, different kinds too. She could sit somewhere along a street all day and sketch, committing faces and fashion styles to paper. Maybe she should, one of these days. If he got too busy with preparing for the trial or something.

Bucky was content to wander down the street with Steph, looking in store windows as they passed, until they came across an Abercrombie & Fitch. Surprised to see it was still around, but glad to see a brand they recognized (even though the marketing seemed to be a lot different these days), that was where they decided to check for a shirt or something.

"You wanna pick stuff out for me?" he asked as he looked around. It seemed to be a lot less outdoors-focused than it used to be, but people as a whole seemed to be a lot less outdoors-focused than they used to be. "Just nothing too... flashy." Thankfully, Bucky was confident she wouldn't do that to him. Hopefully.

He gestured towards the side of the store with womens clothes. "They might have something you'd like, too."

"Yeah, of course." While a part of Steph missed how Bucky used to dress back in their time, she rather liked the unassuming look he had about him now, too. Just... too much black. Now that she could see color, it was kind of a missed opportunity, especially when he had such pretty blue eyes.

So she picked some blues in a range of shades, even teasingly holding out one next to her face and saying, "It matches my eyes?" to convince him. Then she picked out a black cap to go with his jacket and gloves. He might look cute with a scarf, but he would probably consider that flashy.

There was also a maroon shirt she liked, as well as a dark green one, but she wasn't sure if the connotations hit too close to home — the color of blood, and his Army greens. Blue was generally safe, at least.

Bucky was a bit surprised by the number of items Steph was grabbing for him, but he didn't argue. Instead, he just let her drape the items over his good arm while she picked things up, chuckling a bit here and there. (And the statement about her eyes did convince him, actually.) He even noticed her looking at the red and green shirts and told her those were fine, too. The colors weren't overly bright or anything, and they weren't covered with patterns like some of the other things in the store.

"You need to see if there's anything you like, too," he told her with a grin as he hung the red shirt on his arm, then tilted his head towards the women's section. Sure, she had a wardrobe that fit her now, including some new things as well as the clothes his counterpart had brought her from the past, but that didn't mean she couldn't have more if she wanted. They could afford it. "Or whatever else you like in here. Not just clothes."

"Help me pick?" Steph didn't really have a problem finding stuff she wanted. It was just her frugal nature growing up that prevented her from buying them all. Not that that applied to anything that was for Bucky. She spared no expense when it came to him.

Which was why, after choosing some dresses together, she tugged him over with her to the sleepwear section. "What do you think?" she asked, holding up an embroidered set against her body. She had more than enough pajamas and nightdresses by now, but she knew he liked it when she wore something nice in bed — even if he ended up taking it all off anyway.

Bucky grinned when she held the little set up for him to see, chuckling softly. "Sweetheart, you know I think you'd look good in that," he told her honestly. Because he did think she would. It was a pretty simple little set, but something about the embroidery and the fabric reminded him of some of the fabrics he'd seen when they were young.

He didn't mind if she ended up with a whole dresser full of nothing but nightdresses if she liked them. He liked them, too, of course, but he mostly loved seeing her happy.

"I think we should get it for you."

"Okay." If Bucky wanted it, then he was going to get it. Steph draped the set over his arm with a grin. "I'm good with that for now, thank you." It was already quite a haul, especially after the books and their sumptuous lunch. "We can look around a bit more if you want, though."

They ended up goofing around in the accessories section, as she tried out hats and scarves and jewelry and hairclips. "We should get matching caps," she said at some point, setting one atop his head that was the same color and style as hers. She liked how they looked in the mirror, but then she was reminded of something — baseball. "Hey, did you know? The Dodgers moved to LA." She didn't even know that was something that could happen. Who were they going to root for now?

Bucky blinked at that as he added the caps she liked to the pile, then started toward the checkout counter with her. "They what? How does that even happen?" he asked, confused about the whole issue. As much as they liked baseball before the war, he hadn't even looked into it since. He'd... had a lot going on. "They're not getting me to root for the Yankees if that's what they think."

Bucky would root for pretty much any other team before he'd root for the damn Yankees.

Half the reason he kept talking while their mountain of items was checked out was so Steph wouldn't hear the total and have an asthma attack from shock. "We'll have to look into it when we get home, see what we can figure out."

When the cashier started to tell Bucky the total he just shook his head at her, cutting her off, then slid his card when prompted. He added the clothes bags to the book bags and carried them all in his (gloved) metal hand easily so he could hold Steph's hand as they went back out to the street. "You ready to head home yet, or do you wanna keep walking?"

"I dunno, but they're the Los Angeles Dodgers now," Steph said, sounding disappointed. It was just as well, as she was distracted from realizing how expensive everything was when they added up. When she checked the price tags earlier she simply assumed they were normal modern day prices, as Bucky explained to her the first time they went out shopping.

They left the store with her none the wiser. Her next distraction had been simpler: Bucky holding her hand, in public. How she'd longed for this for so long, that she would be the one he took on dates and showed affection to in front of other people, that she would be his girl. Let the people stare.

"We could head home unless there's anything else you wanna do?" She told him that she wanted to sketch in the park, but not today. Besides, they had new books to read and new clothes to try on. She was already eager to throw her new sleepwear into the wash so she could use it.

Bucky leaned down to press a kiss to Steph's forehead as they came to a stop against the building. Normally, he would be the first one to suggest going home, but she didn't seem like she was in a rush and there'd been somewhere Bucky had wanted to take her, and something he wanted to do. He even had a surprise in his pocket just in case the opportunity arose.

"It's out of the way, but you wanna catch a cab out to the Boardwalk for a little while before we head home?" It wasn't like carrying the bags would bother him any, he barely even felt the weight of the bags in his hand.

Steph brightened at Bucky's suggestion of going to the Boardwalk. "Yeah, let's go!" she agreed easily. It was a nice enough day for a stroll. Besides, she'd always liked that place. For sentimental reasons and all that.

If he was quiet in the cab, she didn't notice. She was content with holding his hand as she stared out at the scenery they passed. How New York had changed, but also, in a way, it did not. Much like Bucky, if she really thought about it. She was comforted by that thought.

Bucky knew he was being quiet on the ride, but he often had quiet spells anyway. Hell, back in Wakanda when he was living in that hut, sometimes he went whole days without speaking to anyone, and that had been fine with him. Besides, he was content to spend his time watching Steph take in how the scenery had changed instead of talking.

Once they finally reached their stop, Bucky paid before climbing out of the car, bags still in hand, and helped Steph out behind him. Thankfully, it was still afternoon. Most people were still at work or in school, so it was quieter on the Boardwalk than it would be in an hour or two.

Not that it was quiet, exactly. New York was never quiet. But it wasn't overly packed, and that suited Bucky just fine. He led her a little ways down before coming to a stop around where he was pretty sure he'd danced with her all those years ago, but instead of stopping right there, he tugged her over to the closest bench so they could sit and look out over the water.

"How's this?" he asked, turning to give her a soft grin.

Steph knew which part of the Boardwalk they'd come to, and so she had a fond smile on her face when they sat down. "I like it here," she told Bucky, squeezing his hand. She liked it even more now that they were together and had no more secrets or whatever else between them.

She gazed toward the water. Some days she still could not believe her luck, how one awful day in a string of awful days had turned her life around. Despite the fact that Cap had hurt Bucky with her departure, she had also given Steph a much better life, and practically everything she ever wanted. She couldn't really stay mad at her counterpart, not when she got the better end of the deal.

"We should take a picture," she said suddenly. She liked having all sorts of photos of them, little keepsakes of their new life together.

Bucky smiled a bit more at that and gave her hand a squeeze, glad that he had picked a spot she liked. "Good," he said simply before leaning over to press a kiss to the side of her hair like he often did, then added, "We'll get a picture in a minute if you want, alright?"

Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, even though he was fairly certain of what the outcome would be, Bucky let go of Steph's hand so he could dig around in his pocket. "I just..." he started, then let out a breath when he pulled his hand out, holding a silver ring with a pale blue stone, and tiny clear stones in the band between his fingertips. He'd been hiding it in its ring box in his backpack, but when he decided he didn't want to take the bag with him that afternoon, he'd pulled it out to stash it in his pocket instead.

Hell, he would have done the whole down-on-one-knee, presenting-the-open-box rigamarole for her if they had been at home, but Bucky didn't particularly like calling attention to himself out in public. So, instead, he just sat on the bench beside her, close to where they'd danced on her birthday years earlier, and where he'd wanted so badly to kiss her but was too chicken to do it, and watched her expression carefully as he asked, with a slightly shaky, soft voice, "Will you marry me?"

Steph frowned in confusion when Bucky let go of her hand. Whatever she might've thought he had hiding in there, it wasn't a ring.

It was gorgeous. A silver ring with a blue stone; it would go well with her eyes. As well as the skimpy little underwear she had on, not that he realized it yet. And while she should've known what it meant, it still didn't really sink into her until he asked the question.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she brought a hand to her mouth as she looked up from the ring and back at him. Then she flung herself into his arms, burying her face into his chest.

"Yes. Yes, I will. Of course I will."

Bucky's smile widened at her answer, and he hugged her back tightly. He had been pretty sure she was going to say yes to the question, sure. Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked in the first place. But there had still been that little nagging fear in the back of his head that maybe she wouldn't. Because, since when did things go consistently right for Bucky Barnes?

But the answer to that was simple. Things had been going mostly right for Bucky since the tiny version of his best friend all but fell into his arms back in October.

"I love you, sweetheart," he told her when he finally pulled back, then leaned in again to give her a short but firm kiss. "Do you wanna try it on? If it doesn't fit, we can get it resized. Or we can get you a different one if you don't like this one." Anything she wanted.

"No, no, I love it," Steph gushed, even as she had to wipe her tears with the back of her hand first before Bucky could put the ring on. Then she took a moment to admire the ring. It really was beautiful. "When did you even get this?" She hadn't noticed him acting differently or anything, so she had zero clue he'd been planning to propose.

Snuggling into his side, she said, "I love you so much." He already knew that, but she liked reminding him anyway. That, and: "Thank you." She was grateful to him for a lot of things. For taking care of her. For making her happy. This time, specifically, it was for choosing her. He could've had the better version of her. Or any other woman, really. But he wanted to be with her, and that meant everything.

She stood up suddenly and, facing him, held her hand with the ring out. "We should dance." It was quiet enough where they were, so there shouldn't be people gawking or anything. And it wasn't like she was after a proper dance. More like a picture on his phone while they held each other, to remind themselves that they really did get here, after everything.

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