Steph was none the wiser about the helmet, just assumed it was Bucky's and was merely set down in the wrong place or something. The offer of a hair tie was a surprise though. She didn't think he would still carry a spare for her, much like he didn't carry cigs anymore. "Yeah, if that's okay," she said, somewhat shyly, before gathering up her hair so she could tie it for the drive.
She spent the drive thinking. He was certainly bigger, since she'd been unable to fully wrap her arms around his waist. Instead of making her feel small though, she felt... safe. She had always insisted that she could take care of herself, but the truth was, she needed him. Now more than ever, with her trapped in this strange future of tall buildings and busy roads and too many people.
She held on to him a minute longer after he'd finished parking and shut off the engines. He really was here with her again. Alive, real.
During the drive, whenever Bucky had to stop at a redlight he would take one of his hands off the handlebars to let it rest on top of Steph's, only letting go when it was time for them to take off again. Lucky for Steph, he couldn't exactly get a good speed up when driving in the city. Not while he had her on the back, at least.
Once they reached Steph's building and he shut off the bike, he put his hand on top of hers again when he realized she was taking her time letting go. "You ready to go judge your future self's decorating skills?" he asked, teasing just slightly in hopes of calming her nerves a bit.
When she finally climbed off the bike he followed, then helped her out of the mystery helmet before leading her into the building and to her door, his arm around her the entire time.
Finally, he unlocked the door and led her into her own apartment, flicking on the overhead light as they stepped inside. The sun was beginning to set outside so it was starting to dim in the apartment, which would have been a bit more difficult with Steph's eye problems.
He should get her some glasses.
"Welcome home, Steph. Don't blame me if you don't like what she did with the place."
It was like stepping into a dream. The lights flickered on, revealing a space so much bigger than the rundown apartment Steph had been forced to leave behind, and, well, modern. The clutter, at least, was familiar, as was the position of the couch next to the window and the seemingly forgotten sketchpad and pencils on it.
And the pictures. There were lots of framed photographs in the living room alone. Few actually had Cap's face on it. Even fewer were the black and white pics from Steph's time. She would take a good look at each of them later. In the meantime, she padded to the couch and carefully sat down, needing a moment to restโ
The TV flickered to life as she accidentally sat down on the remote. She yelped in surprise, then stared at the screen in disbelief. "Buck, is that..." She pointed at the TV. "Like in the cinema?" But how could it fit in such a small space?
"Television," Bucky said simply, chuckling softly as he also walked to the couch. "Or just TV. There's always something playing but most of it is terrible." He had recently discovered Star Trek, though, and the idea of a utopian Earth with space travel sounded great to him. He looked at the couch between them and saw the remote sticking out from under her, so he grabbed the end of it and pulled it out to show her. "This is what turned it on." A glance at the TV then. "I have no idea what show this is."
After tossing the remote on the table, Bucky leaned down to start untying and removing his boots, then sat back up. "Bathroom's there. Your room, guest room that I've been staying in, and kitchen," he pointed towards each room as he said what it was. "I, uh. I know it's a lot. I might not have time-traveled like you did, but it was even a culture shock for me when I got free. And I didn't even remember much of what it was like before then for a while there."
He had remembered Steph though. Sort of. He knew nothing about anything, except the fact that the beautiful woman was the most important person (anything, really) in the world.
It was a lot, and Steph was trying not to think about it too much. Just taking it one thing at a time. "Thank you," she said earnestly. She would've found a way to cope if she'd been flung elsewhere, but Bucky was making things so much easier. "And just water, please. Unless there's something you think I gotta try?"
While he grabbed her drink, she picked the remote back up and started flicking through the channels. She eventually settled on some animated show for children. It was mid-episode and she had no context for most of it, but she appreciated the art style and was mostly interested in it.
It was beginning to get hot in the suit though, so when he returned, she asked if she could try to look for some clothes in Cap's room. She could've gone right in but it felt like intruding. Bedrooms were such personal spaces, after all.
Bucky came back from the kitchen with a can of the older Steph's preferred sodas for each of them, as well as a glass as water in case this smaller version didn't like it. Things had a lot more sugar in them now than it used to, but then again, sugar was rationed during the war. And the Depression wasn't the best time to get things, either.
"I don't see why not. I mean, pretty sure it's all yours now. Most of it's going to be too big, but there's probably at least something you can wear around the house," he answered her as he opened the cans and set them down. "If you don't mind, I'll change into something else, too."
He didn't have a lot, but he did at least have some pajama pants and a couple henleys he could wear to sleep or relax in.
Bucky led Steph over to her bedroom before stepping into the guest room and closing the door behind him. It didn't take him long to change into the previously mentioned clothes, but one he was done he just sort of... sat on the foot of the bed for a moment, staring at two framed pictures he'd stolen from Steph's collection. One of the two of them in a field in Wakanda, a goat running into a post in the background, and the other of them goofing off together in their late teens. Steph had told him Becca gave that one to her, as well as several of the other black and white photos.
He just didn't know what to think. It was pretty obvious why Steph went back, but he wasn't so sure she thought about the current version of him in the process. How much he needed her. Maybe that was why she sent the younger version of herself here?
With a sigh, he stood up and made his way back out to the living room in socked feet, then flopped back down on the couch.
Steph was in the bedroom for about half an hour. Picking clothes was easy; they were all too big on her, but nothing some twisting and quick stitching couldn't fix. If there had been any doubt that Cap was Steph, just older, it would've been obliterated by the fact that Cap had a sewing kit in her room, tucked in the exact same compartment Steph had hers in 1943. (They didn't have the exact same drawer, but they had the exact same taste.)
It was looking at the photos that delayed her. She lingered in particular at the framed one Cap had on her nightstand, a black and white photo of her when she was Steph's age, and Bucky. The photo was worn with age, but Steph could remember when it was taken: just about three months ago, before Bucky was first deployed. Steph had washed and pressed his uniform, and he looked so handsome when he put it on. He then insisted they get photographs, for which he tried to help with curling her hair. He was shit at it though, so she'd told him to just read to her while she finished up.
For a few minutes that felt like hours, she sat on the edge of the bed, holding the frame with one hand while pressing the fingertips of the other on the glass over Bucky's face. She would never see him again. Even if Dr. Banner and the others could figure out a way to send her back, how could she leave this Bucky now here with her, who had been cruelly abandoned by the woman he loved, who happened to be a future version of Steph?
That thought giving her a renewed resolve, she wiped away her tears, went to quickly alter some of Cap's clothes, and rejoined Bucky in the living room, wearing one of Cap's shirts as a dress.
"Sorry I took so long," she said as she made her way back to the couch. "I had to do some sewing."
Bucky was relaxed on the couch when he came back, feet propped up on the coffee table, metal arm (the sleeve of his shirt covering all but his hand) resting on the arm, and the remote in his hand as he flicked through the channels. He had just settled on a classics channel, with that show about the loud woman and her Cuban husband, since it wasn't quite Steph's time, but it was at least a hell of a lot closer.
"Nothing to apologize for," he said and shrugged as he set the remote on the end table, then looked over at her with a soft grin on his face. Shit, she looked cute as hell. "You find everything alright in there? I swear, we'll get some clothes in your size as soon as we figure out what it is."
"Yeah. I just... she wore guy clothes?" She hadn't been able to find any dresses or skirts, though there were some tank tops she'd already set aside to alter. Maybe dresses fell out of style or something. She was still going to wear them though. She liked her dresses, and her hair in curls. Which weren't in curls anymore from all the action she'd seen so far. Reminded of that, she combed her hair with her fingers self-consciously.
Then she picked up her can, took a sip, before pulling back to stare at it in disbelief. "It's sweet," she noted with surprise. "I like it. Thank you."
She scooted a little more toward the back of the couch, and just a bit closer to him. Not too much that she'd be intruding on his space, but enough for her presence to hopefully be of comfort if he needed it. "You okay? I know that was... a lot." He'd already helped her with so much today. It was her turn.
"What, like the pants? Yeah. I mean, pretty sure they're womens pants though," Bucky let his head rest against the back of the couch, but had his head turned to watch Steph. "Most women wear pants more often than not now, and she... She wasn't a fan of how men would talk about her body after she got the serum."
Sure, the serum made Steph's body stereotypically hot, but Bucky had always thought she was gorgeous, no matter if she was skinny or an hourglass. It was never based on her looks.
"Women have been wearing pants more and more over the last few decades, now a lot of people just don't give any kinds of shit who wears what anymore. Women in suits, men in skirts sometimes, pretty sure they just want people to be comfortable in their own skin." It was something that Bucky had taken note of since he wasn't comfortable in his own skin, but for a very different reason.
Actually, it was metal he wasn't comfortable in, not skin.
"That's really nice." Steph had always had strong feelings about fairness and women's rights, so she was pleased to know the future made some improvements in that regard. That explained Cap's wardrobe choices, but there was still something she couldn't quite wrap her mind around without a visual reference.
Carefully, because she knew it might stir feelings in Bucky, she asked, "Do you have a photo of her?" For while Cap had many photos in her apartment, she was strangely absent in the colored ones โ the ones presumably after her body was changed by the serum. Steph wanted to understand just how much changed, and why Bucky and Cap's friends talked like she spent a lot of time fighting. (Or avenging, for that matter.) Even if Cap hadn't wanted to be photographed, she'd have let Bucky take some photos of her, or of them together. Steph did, despite usually feeling she wasn't pretty enough. All it took was Bucky looking at her like she was.
Bucky glanced around the room at the various photos before remembering that Steph really hadn't been in pictures all that often since the serum. Not outside of official ones, at least. But Bucky, of course, had managed to get a few of her once he figured out smartphone cameras. "Yeah, I've got some."
Reaching into the pocket of his baggy pajama pants, he pulled out his phone. It didn't take him long to find a good shot of Steph, taken in the same field as the one in his bedroom, as she laughed at something Rogers did. Probably headbutted another rhino or something.
He had more pictures on his phone of Steph than she probably realized he had taken.
"Here," he said, leaning closer as he handed the phone to this new, but also old, Steph, his arm brushing against her shoulder. "If you slide your finger across the screen left or right, you'll see more pictures." Sure, there were lots of pictures of goats, but also several of Steph on her last visit to Wakanda before the big battle. Even a couple of them together, mostly at her urging.
The phone was fascinating, but the pictures were more so. The woman in them had Steph's eyes, but she thought that was where the resemblance ended. Cap looked like an actress or model playing dress up for war propaganda materials, gorgeous and intimidating all at once in her short hair and dark armored suit. She was dressed more casually in the other photos, but she still had that gritty aura about her, one that impressed and commanded respect.
"Shit, she's so beautiful. And badass." Which Steph wasn't. She tried to ward off the ugly knot that suddenly formed in her chest by changing the subject. "Why do they call her Cap? Is it, like, Captain?" He did mention that she'd saved him during the war or something.
The look on Bucky's face when he spoke again was sort of a blend between bashful and sad. "I mean, I never thought she was any more or less beautiful after the serum than before. It was just a different kind," he shrugged, as he looked away from the photo and at the small blonde beside him again.
But his expression definitely turned more amused at the question about her name. "That's sorta my fault," he started. "When she first got the serum, they had her doing this dumb stage show for morale. She had chorus girls and everything, and they were billing her as Lady Liberty. After she pulled the 107th's asses out of the fire, any time I heard someone say some garbage about her looks or whatever on our march back to camp I'd get on them, telling 'em they should call her Captain. When we got back, I said some shit about her being Captain America and the name stuck."
Steph missed the look, because she ducked her head just as Bucky turned to look at her. He... thought she was pretty like this? That was nice to know. She'd always worried some other girl would catch his eye and he'd forget about her; then she'd worried she couldn't hold a candle to the utterly gorgeous Steph who saved the universe and jumped off planes without a parachute.
"That's a hell of a name to live up to," she mused, idly swiping through more photos. Captain America. Wow. Seemed like Cap did their country proud, though. Her friends were, she'd seen it on their faces. How disappointed they must have been to have tiny, useless Steph in her place.
Then she paused at a photo, turning to show it to him. "Is that why she's wearing the flag?" It's an unusual picture though. The very prominent American flag design aside, Cap was wearing a skirt, not a suit.
Bucky couldn't help laughing a bit at the picture in question. It was one of the posters for her Lady Liberty show, Steph posing with her fake shield and a salute. "Yeah, that was how they had her dress as Lady Liberty for her show. I never got to see her performance, unfortunately, so I looked up pictures a while back to tease her with. It's easy to look up anything now."
Slouching down on the couch a bit so he could look over her shoulder instead of looming over her, he watched as she continued to flip through the pictures. Thankfully, he wasn't the sort to take those embarrassing selfies that he saw so many people on the internet posting, so it was mostly just pictures of Steph, goats, or random items that Bucky didn't know the use for. He took a picture of those to send to Steph to see if she knew.
She was so small beside him that a part of him worried that the chin he let rest on her shoulder would be too heavy. She would probably tell him if it was, or shove him off or something, but he just wanted that extra bit of closeness. At least for a minute.
Instead of shoving Bucky off, Steph did the opposite and tried to scoot back into him. It was a natural reaction from her, having been so used to being in close contact with him. In hindsight, it was really stupid for neither of them to realize the other had feelings. Not with how touchy they got with each other, which wasn't something 'just friends' did.
Maybe they did know, deep down. They were just too scared. Now they'd lost their chance.
... well, not really. This was a second chance, wasn't it? In some bizarre, mindblowing way that she might just have to stop questioning.
She had to laugh at the photo. It was so silly, but she supposed it worked if it made Cap self-conscious of her new body. "Guess she really boosted morale, huh." Reminded of something, she turned her head to look at him, or at least try to, since his chin was on her shoulder. "We won, right? The war?"
No sooner had she said it that she realized their faces were so close now. He definitely looked older, and a lot less clean-shaven than she was used to, but he was still Bucky.
Not really knowing what possessed her, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek then.
"I hear we won, at least." He wasn't exactly in the best position to witness the end of the war, after all.
But then Steph was pressing a kiss to his cheek and Bucky couldn't help it. He might be over a hundred years old (either 101 or 106, depending on how you looked at it), but this tiny woman pressing a kiss to his cheek still made his face go red just like it did the rare times she did it when they were young.
"Yeah. Yes. In um," apparently Steph shorted Bucky's brain out for a moment there. "45, I think? I was sorta... already out of commission by then."
Bucky didn't pull away from her though, just let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, turning his body just slightly so his metal arm could reach across to drape gently over her waist. "I'm so old, Steph. I wasn't... aware for most of it, but I'm over a hundred now. And the things they made me do..."
Steph passed the phone to her other hand, then placed her newly freed one over Bucky's metal fingers. It should be weird. This whole thing was weird. He was over a hundred to her 25; she was the ghost of his lost love. But being in his arms felt no different, even if one was made of metal now.
"It's behind you now, right? You're free?" Not just free from being controlled, but free of the war, and free to do whatever he wanted.
In an attempt to lighten up the mood, she teased, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you, old man. I'll give you baths and help you get dressed and hold your hand when you cross the road."
Bucky was still learning about and getting used to his new arm, but one thing he appreciated was the better pressure sensors. It meant he could feel Steph's hand resting on top of his more than he would have with his last arm.
"No more wars if I can help it," he said simply, even though he'd been drafted into the first one, so he hadn't even wanted that one. Back then, he'd just wanted to stay home and keep an eye on his best friend. "No more trigger words. I'll probably have a trial eventually, but I have no idea when yet." And who knows how that would go, especially with Captain America gone and unable to vouch for him.
But he wasn't completely alone, so that was good.
"Hey, you might prefer bumming around with people closer to your age," he said with a soft chuckle. Everyone he knew of was closer to her age, except maybe Thor. And he really only knew of him in passing. "I could at least introduce you to Shuri. She's not much younger than you."
A trial. Steph knew the things Bucky had been made to do were bad, even if he hadn't detailed what, but the thought of him potentially being locked up because of them worried her. Shit, she'd have to figure something out, just in case.
But she didn't want him worrying about her worrying, so she just squeezed his hand and said nothing about it. She'd think about it later. Probably start by befriending Cap's friends and go from there.
Which he was suggesting, sort of. She waved the phone in her other hand. "I didn't even know what this was. Or that." She gestured at the TV with the same hand. "Or thatโ what is that?" This time she was pointing at the tablet on the coffee table. It was locked with a passcode (Bucky's birthday) and needed charging, but they would find it filled with Cap's newer art, mostly from the last five years after the Snap. "I'm nearly old as you are, I just wasn't aware for most of it," she parroted back to him.
"I bugged the other Steph with questions about what everything was for a pretty good while." Hell, he'd texted her earlier that week asking what some weird thing in her kitchen was for. "Seems only fair that you ask me now. And if I don't know I'll find out for you. But, for the record. That's my phone in your hand, TV on the wall, and the thing on the table is... a..." Bucky actually squinted as he stared at the thing, as though that would help him remember better. "Tablet? Pretty sure it's a tablet. It's kinda like a big phone, but doesn't make calls."
Bucky rolled his eyes at the parroting, though. Because of course he did. "Nope, you skipped. I was alive, just frozen most of the time. No time travel involved." That was probably the most bare bones and nonsensical way he could have phrased that, but there it was. Too late.
This Steph might not know what it felt like to be buried alive in ice, but she knew what it felt like to be cold. She'd spent many winter nights shivering in her rundown apartment with blankets and sheets that barely offered warmth, wondering and waiting if it was finally the day she was going to die. That part, the waiting, was the worst. Death would have offered respite; otherwise it was a prolonged suffering. Was that what it had been like for him?
She slowly shifted in his hold, but only so she could face him properly and put her arms around him again. She still couldn't quite manage, which would've been funny if their conversation hadn't turned serious. "I'm so sorry, Buck. It all sounds so awfulโ" She shook her head, her face pressed against his chest. "But I'm glad you're still alive. I'm glad I got to be with you again."
Bucky didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Steph in return, holding her close as he pressed a kiss to her hair. "It's... I can't say "it's okay," because it's not really. But I survived it. I'm here now." Though if they hadn't sent him in particular after Steph he likely would have either still been with them or killed like the rest of the Soldiers.
"But yeah, it's called cryogenic freezing. Kinda... freezes your body, but you're not dead. You can be woken back up whenever needed, then put back under again. Think like... I don't know, a cold coma without aging." And that's what he'd spent decades going in and out of, but not until after all the time it took to get his mind to start giving up. He had spent quite a while hoping Steph would come for him again, but also hoping she stayed far, far away from that lab. "I'm glad I'm here, too." Most of the time. "And that you're here. If nothing else, we know that the inhaler worked faster on you than your smokes did."
Steph's grip tightened as Bucky explained what he meant exactly by being frozen. Now there was one modern development she wasn't enamored with, because what the fuck? War was truly horrifying, and while she'd barely lived through one, it was enough that she'd lost her father and almost lost her best friend to it.
"Just be here. It's okay if you're not okay." She hadn't been okay for years, probably never really, yet he stood by her side anyway. She would do the same, and more.
Now she understood Cap's decision to leave. She owed it to him to try. But whether or not Steph's presence here was planned, she felt like she was meant to stay. She would never, ever be able to fill Cap's shoes, but she could love him and be with him.
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She spent the drive thinking. He was certainly bigger, since she'd been unable to fully wrap her arms around his waist. Instead of making her feel small though, she felt... safe. She had always insisted that she could take care of herself, but the truth was, she needed him. Now more than ever, with her trapped in this strange future of tall buildings and busy roads and too many people.
She held on to him a minute longer after he'd finished parking and shut off the engines. He really was here with her again. Alive, real.
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Once they reached Steph's building and he shut off the bike, he put his hand on top of hers again when he realized she was taking her time letting go. "You ready to go judge your future self's decorating skills?" he asked, teasing just slightly in hopes of calming her nerves a bit.
When she finally climbed off the bike he followed, then helped her out of the mystery helmet before leading her into the building and to her door, his arm around her the entire time.
Finally, he unlocked the door and led her into her own apartment, flicking on the overhead light as they stepped inside. The sun was beginning to set outside so it was starting to dim in the apartment, which would have been a bit more difficult with Steph's eye problems.
He should get her some glasses.
"Welcome home, Steph. Don't blame me if you don't like what she did with the place."
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And the pictures. There were lots of framed photographs in the living room alone. Few actually had Cap's face on it. Even fewer were the black and white pics from Steph's time. She would take a good look at each of them later. In the meantime, she padded to the couch and carefully sat down, needing a moment to restโ
The TV flickered to life as she accidentally sat down on the remote. She yelped in surprise, then stared at the screen in disbelief. "Buck, is that..." She pointed at the TV. "Like in the cinema?" But how could it fit in such a small space?
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After tossing the remote on the table, Bucky leaned down to start untying and removing his boots, then sat back up. "Bathroom's there. Your room, guest room that I've been staying in, and kitchen," he pointed towards each room as he said what it was. "I, uh. I know it's a lot. I might not have time-traveled like you did, but it was even a culture shock for me when I got free. And I didn't even remember much of what it was like before then for a while there."
He had remembered Steph though. Sort of. He knew nothing about anything, except the fact that the beautiful woman was the most important person (anything, really) in the world.
"Want me to grab you something to drink?"
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While he grabbed her drink, she picked the remote back up and started flicking through the channels. She eventually settled on some animated show for children. It was mid-episode and she had no context for most of it, but she appreciated the art style and was mostly interested in it.
It was beginning to get hot in the suit though, so when he returned, she asked if she could try to look for some clothes in Cap's room. She could've gone right in but it felt like intruding. Bedrooms were such personal spaces, after all.
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"I don't see why not. I mean, pretty sure it's all yours now. Most of it's going to be too big, but there's probably at least something you can wear around the house," he answered her as he opened the cans and set them down. "If you don't mind, I'll change into something else, too."
He didn't have a lot, but he did at least have some pajama pants and a couple henleys he could wear to sleep or relax in.
Bucky led Steph over to her bedroom before stepping into the guest room and closing the door behind him. It didn't take him long to change into the previously mentioned clothes, but one he was done he just sort of... sat on the foot of the bed for a moment, staring at two framed pictures he'd stolen from Steph's collection. One of the two of them in a field in Wakanda, a goat running into a post in the background, and the other of them goofing off together in their late teens. Steph had told him Becca gave that one to her, as well as several of the other black and white photos.
He just didn't know what to think. It was pretty obvious why Steph went back, but he wasn't so sure she thought about the current version of him in the process. How much he needed her. Maybe that was why she sent the younger version of herself here?
With a sigh, he stood up and made his way back out to the living room in socked feet, then flopped back down on the couch.
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It was looking at the photos that delayed her. She lingered in particular at the framed one Cap had on her nightstand, a black and white photo of her when she was Steph's age, and Bucky. The photo was worn with age, but Steph could remember when it was taken: just about three months ago, before Bucky was first deployed. Steph had washed and pressed his uniform, and he looked so handsome when he put it on. He then insisted they get photographs, for which he tried to help with curling her hair. He was shit at it though, so she'd told him to just read to her while she finished up.
For a few minutes that felt like hours, she sat on the edge of the bed, holding the frame with one hand while pressing the fingertips of the other on the glass over Bucky's face. She would never see him again. Even if Dr. Banner and the others could figure out a way to send her back, how could she leave this Bucky now here with her, who had been cruelly abandoned by the woman he loved, who happened to be a future version of Steph?
That thought giving her a renewed resolve, she wiped away her tears, went to quickly alter some of Cap's clothes, and rejoined Bucky in the living room, wearing one of Cap's shirts as a dress.
"Sorry I took so long," she said as she made her way back to the couch. "I had to do some sewing."
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"Nothing to apologize for," he said and shrugged as he set the remote on the end table, then looked over at her with a soft grin on his face. Shit, she looked cute as hell. "You find everything alright in there? I swear, we'll get some clothes in your size as soon as we figure out what it is."
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Then she picked up her can, took a sip, before pulling back to stare at it in disbelief. "It's sweet," she noted with surprise. "I like it. Thank you."
She scooted a little more toward the back of the couch, and just a bit closer to him. Not too much that she'd be intruding on his space, but enough for her presence to hopefully be of comfort if he needed it. "You okay? I know that was... a lot." He'd already helped her with so much today. It was her turn.
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Sure, the serum made Steph's body stereotypically hot, but Bucky had always thought she was gorgeous, no matter if she was skinny or an hourglass. It was never based on her looks.
"Women have been wearing pants more and more over the last few decades, now a lot of people just don't give any kinds of shit who wears what anymore. Women in suits, men in skirts sometimes, pretty sure they just want people to be comfortable in their own skin." It was something that Bucky had taken note of since he wasn't comfortable in his own skin, but for a very different reason.
Actually, it was metal he wasn't comfortable in, not skin.
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Carefully, because she knew it might stir feelings in Bucky, she asked, "Do you have a photo of her?" For while Cap had many photos in her apartment, she was strangely absent in the colored ones โ the ones presumably after her body was changed by the serum. Steph wanted to understand just how much changed, and why Bucky and Cap's friends talked like she spent a lot of time fighting. (Or avenging, for that matter.) Even if Cap hadn't wanted to be photographed, she'd have let Bucky take some photos of her, or of them together. Steph did, despite usually feeling she wasn't pretty enough. All it took was Bucky looking at her like she was.
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Reaching into the pocket of his baggy pajama pants, he pulled out his phone. It didn't take him long to find a good shot of Steph, taken in the same field as the one in his bedroom, as she laughed at something Rogers did. Probably headbutted another rhino or something.
He had more pictures on his phone of Steph than she probably realized he had taken.
"Here," he said, leaning closer as he handed the phone to this new, but also old, Steph, his arm brushing against her shoulder. "If you slide your finger across the screen left or right, you'll see more pictures." Sure, there were lots of pictures of goats, but also several of Steph on her last visit to Wakanda before the big battle. Even a couple of them together, mostly at her urging.
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"Shit, she's so beautiful. And badass." Which Steph wasn't. She tried to ward off the ugly knot that suddenly formed in her chest by changing the subject. "Why do they call her Cap? Is it, like, Captain?" He did mention that she'd saved him during the war or something.
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But his expression definitely turned more amused at the question about her name. "That's sorta my fault," he started. "When she first got the serum, they had her doing this dumb stage show for morale. She had chorus girls and everything, and they were billing her as Lady Liberty. After she pulled the 107th's asses out of the fire, any time I heard someone say some garbage about her looks or whatever on our march back to camp I'd get on them, telling 'em they should call her Captain. When we got back, I said some shit about her being Captain America and the name stuck."
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"That's a hell of a name to live up to," she mused, idly swiping through more photos. Captain America. Wow. Seemed like Cap did their country proud, though. Her friends were, she'd seen it on their faces. How disappointed they must have been to have tiny, useless Steph in her place.
Then she paused at a photo, turning to show it to him. "Is that why she's wearing the flag?" It's an unusual picture though. The very prominent American flag design aside, Cap was wearing a skirt, not a suit.
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Slouching down on the couch a bit so he could look over her shoulder instead of looming over her, he watched as she continued to flip through the pictures. Thankfully, he wasn't the sort to take those embarrassing selfies that he saw so many people on the internet posting, so it was mostly just pictures of Steph, goats, or random items that Bucky didn't know the use for. He took a picture of those to send to Steph to see if she knew.
She was so small beside him that a part of him worried that the chin he let rest on her shoulder would be too heavy. She would probably tell him if it was, or shove him off or something, but he just wanted that extra bit of closeness. At least for a minute.
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Maybe they did know, deep down. They were just too scared. Now they'd lost their chance.
... well, not really. This was a second chance, wasn't it? In some bizarre, mindblowing way that she might just have to stop questioning.
She had to laugh at the photo. It was so silly, but she supposed it worked if it made Cap self-conscious of her new body. "Guess she really boosted morale, huh." Reminded of something, she turned her head to look at him, or at least try to, since his chin was on her shoulder. "We won, right? The war?"
No sooner had she said it that she realized their faces were so close now. He definitely looked older, and a lot less clean-shaven than she was used to, but he was still Bucky.
Not really knowing what possessed her, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek then.
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But then Steph was pressing a kiss to his cheek and Bucky couldn't help it. He might be over a hundred years old (either 101 or 106, depending on how you looked at it), but this tiny woman pressing a kiss to his cheek still made his face go red just like it did the rare times she did it when they were young.
"Yeah. Yes. In um," apparently Steph shorted Bucky's brain out for a moment there. "45, I think? I was sorta... already out of commission by then."
Bucky didn't pull away from her though, just let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, turning his body just slightly so his metal arm could reach across to drape gently over her waist. "I'm so old, Steph. I wasn't... aware for most of it, but I'm over a hundred now. And the things they made me do..."
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"It's behind you now, right? You're free?" Not just free from being controlled, but free of the war, and free to do whatever he wanted.
In an attempt to lighten up the mood, she teased, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you, old man. I'll give you baths and help you get dressed and hold your hand when you cross the road."
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"No more wars if I can help it," he said simply, even though he'd been drafted into the first one, so he hadn't even wanted that one. Back then, he'd just wanted to stay home and keep an eye on his best friend. "No more trigger words. I'll probably have a trial eventually, but I have no idea when yet." And who knows how that would go, especially with Captain America gone and unable to vouch for him.
But he wasn't completely alone, so that was good.
"Hey, you might prefer bumming around with people closer to your age," he said with a soft chuckle. Everyone he knew of was closer to her age, except maybe Thor. And he really only knew of him in passing. "I could at least introduce you to Shuri. She's not much younger than you."
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But she didn't want him worrying about her worrying, so she just squeezed his hand and said nothing about it. She'd think about it later. Probably start by befriending Cap's friends and go from there.
Which he was suggesting, sort of. She waved the phone in her other hand. "I didn't even know what this was. Or that." She gestured at the TV with the same hand. "Or thatโ what is that?" This time she was pointing at the tablet on the coffee table. It was locked with a passcode (Bucky's birthday) and needed charging, but they would find it filled with Cap's newer art, mostly from the last five years after the Snap. "I'm nearly old as you are, I just wasn't aware for most of it," she parroted back to him.
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Bucky rolled his eyes at the parroting, though. Because of course he did. "Nope, you skipped. I was alive, just frozen most of the time. No time travel involved." That was probably the most bare bones and nonsensical way he could have phrased that, but there it was. Too late.
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This Steph might not know what it felt like to be buried alive in ice, but she knew what it felt like to be cold. She'd spent many winter nights shivering in her rundown apartment with blankets and sheets that barely offered warmth, wondering and waiting if it was finally the day she was going to die. That part, the waiting, was the worst. Death would have offered respite; otherwise it was a prolonged suffering. Was that what it had been like for him?
She slowly shifted in his hold, but only so she could face him properly and put her arms around him again. She still couldn't quite manage, which would've been funny if their conversation hadn't turned serious. "I'm so sorry, Buck. It all sounds so awfulโ" She shook her head, her face pressed against his chest. "But I'm glad you're still alive. I'm glad I got to be with you again."
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"But yeah, it's called cryogenic freezing. Kinda... freezes your body, but you're not dead. You can be woken back up whenever needed, then put back under again. Think like... I don't know, a cold coma without aging." And that's what he'd spent decades going in and out of, but not until after all the time it took to get his mind to start giving up. He had spent quite a while hoping Steph would come for him again, but also hoping she stayed far, far away from that lab. "I'm glad I'm here, too." Most of the time. "And that you're here. If nothing else, we know that the inhaler worked faster on you than your smokes did."
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"Just be here. It's okay if you're not okay." She hadn't been okay for years, probably never really, yet he stood by her side anyway. She would do the same, and more.
Now she understood Cap's decision to leave. She owed it to him to try. But whether or not Steph's presence here was planned, she felt like she was meant to stay. She would never, ever be able to fill Cap's shoes, but she could love him and be with him.
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