[ It's easy to drown out the voices of doubt and insecurity in her head when his mouth is on hers, when he's touching her. It's everything she's ever imagined and more, and she melts into the kiss with a happy sigh.
She follows his lead, though it's giving in to her own desires that she buries her fingers into his hair, an act she's always considered intimate and reserved for moments like these. She moans when his tongue slides into her mouth, and louder when his hand, though still over her dress, slides down to her thigh. God, the things she's thought of them doing...
It's with reluctance that they break the kiss several minutes later. She's out of breath and looking dazed; face flushed, eyes a little wild, heart beating fast. ]
I hope you're aware I'm not waiting until marriage. That's gonna be forever considering how things are going and I can't wait that long.
( Maybe he would if there wasn't a war on but with the urgency of him leaving, he doesn't want to let this wait. He slides his hand under her skirt and lets his palm rest on her thigh; she's so thin that he feels like he could wrap his whole hand around her.
He doesn't stop kissing her, keeps kissing her like it's the only thing that's keeping him going, and nothing short of an asthma attack is going to get him to stop. )
[ Now that they've established that this isn't a pity date or a pity relationship or a pity whatever, she's willing to reveal her hand. Jealousy hadn't been the only reason she'd been upset earlier; it was also the thought of time being so casually wasted. She doesn't have time. She's worried about him dying in the war but she could get there before he does, between her asthma and her weak heart and consumption making the rounds.
So she doesn't resist when he slips his hand under her skirt, but it's not as if she can stop the moan that leaves her at the feel of his hand on her skin. She's unable to stop her legs from parting either, heat running through her at the thought of what else he could touch. Or kiss. God, she's going to lose her mind if he goes down on her.
Emboldened, she starts to undo his tie, then the top buttons of his dress shirt, while they kiss. She's always wanted to run her palms down his chest, and her mouth after them. ]
Then we should probably move because I'm way too tall for this couch.
( He could have sex on this couch, if he wanted, but not in the position he wants. She's unbuttoning his shirt right now and he tips his head back to offer her more room to do it. If they leave clothes all over his place, he doesn't care. )
[ She's seen him without a shirt on so many times before that this shouldn't have been a big deal. But the undressing part is new, and there's a thrill to popping the buttons and drawing the fabric off his shoulders to expose bare skin. She then leans in to press a kiss to his shoulder, and for a moment she just stays curled against him, closing her eyes as her fingers trail along his skin. ]
Mmmm. Okay.
[ She's yearned for him for for so long and with the quiet desperation of a dying girl that she'd have been fine no matter where he wanted to do the deed or how quickly he'd choose to get it over and done with. It's stupid, really, the things people do even if they know it would inevitably hurt them. How will she cope without him? How will she cope without him, having had this? It's not fair. ]
( Bucky drops his shirt and sweeps Steph up into his arms. She absolutely can walk the short way to his bedroom but it's about the gesture of it more than necessity. Well, it's necessary for him to do it but that's beside the point - she could walk it.
Once they're in his room, he sets her gently on her feet and starts working on the buttons of her dress. He knows he doesn't have to, that he can actually just flip it up and off, but this is sexier to him. )
[ She's been in his room before, fallen asleep with him on his bed even, but it had never been like this except in her head. She watches him intently, for a moment worried that he's going to change his mind, that he won't like what he finds beneath her dress, that he will tell her that he can't do this after all and ask her to leave -- but he does none of those things.
So she smiles; relieved, thrilled, enamored. She feels a rush of heat when she catches the intensity of his gaze and his promise, and her knees grow weak all of a sudden. She's sure neither has anything to do with her existing conditions. ]
I mean, I wasn't gonna, but is that what you want? Cause I could?
( Bucky doesn't want to mess this up, actually, so if she wants poetry and candles he thinks he can rustle that up but he was actually just going to do what he knows how to do and hope that was good enough.
I don't know... [ She laughs softly, ducking her head. She'd said it almost automatically, just like their usual banter, but it actually doesn't feel right to ask. She doesn't want him to think that she's difficult and hard to please and that other girls are more fun to be around. It's embarrasing enough that she's inexperienced.
Though there's one thing she really really wants, which she dares to ask, looking up at him: ] Will you let me sketch you later?
[ More like, if she doesn't pass out from exhaustion. But she's not going to say that. She refuses to let her body get in the way of tonight, especially since she's wanted this for years. She can sleep and recover tomorrow, after he's left. ]
Yeah, naked. I'll place it under my pillow, look at it when I'm feeling frisky.
[ She's nervous, so she's babbling. After all, she's standing in front of him, in his bedroom, in just her underwear. She knows she's not pretty by most people's standards, and not particularly interesting either. Is he sure about this? About her? ]
Nowhere, right this second. I'm not finished undressing you. Can't have sex if half your clothes are still on.
( Bucky steps closer to her and kisses her again. While he does, though, he unhooks her bra and tugs it off to toss onto the floor. He slides his hand up to cup one of her breasts and moves his lips along her jaw and neck and presses them against her ear. )
[ She lets out a sweet little whimper when he cups her breast. This is really happening. He's kissing her, touching her, telling her that she's beautiful. It makes her feel somewhat light-headed, but mostly warm... and restless. She grips the waistband of his pants, then her fingers begin to search for the buttons. Is he wearing a belt? She can't remember, so she just has to feel her way through. ]
You thought about me a lot, huh?
[ More nervous babbling, in between moans and gasps and other sounds of pleasure. ]
( Bucky hooks his hands in her underwear and tugs them down. She's unbuttoned his pants and he shimmies out of them. He isn't in anything but his shorts now and he pushes them away because he desperately needs to be naked.
The entire time, he's kissing her, and he backs her up to the bed as he does. )
[ She has to laugh, though the sound is muffled since they're still kissing. They've both been so so stupid. Could've saved each other a lot of trouble and heartache, really. Could've had more time to enjoy each other.
She pulls back, a little breathless now, to look up at him. ] No more secrets, okay? Our friendship can handle it. Promise?
[ Then her gaze wanders, lower and lower, because they're both completely naked now and it's weird because he's her best friend, yet it's also perfect because he is. She can't imagine being vulnerable with anyone else. ]
( Bucky follows her gaze for a moment and laughs before pushing her back onto the bed. Maybe he should be more delicate about it - Steph is sort of fragile - but he's not thinking about that right now. He's just thinking about finally being with her. )
You see something you like down there or am I failing to measure up to the other nude portraits you've drawn?
[ She'd probably have been offended by the pushing in other circumstances, but this time she just laughs, props herself up on her elbows, and opens her legs suggestively.
It's so easy to have fun around him. So easy to be happy. ]
I'm not sure. I'm gonna need a thorough examination.
Well, I wanna do an examination first. I've been thinking about this longer, I bet. I've been pining for you for a real long time.
( Bucky pushes her down so he can lay alongside her and draws his fingers along the curve of one breast and down the curve of her waist and the flare of her hips. )
I knew you had a body under there. Just couldn't tell under all those clothes.
Like what you see, or am I failing to measure up to your expectations?
[ She doesn't say other girls because she doesn't want to upset him again, though she's not pouty this time, but rather hopeful. He's touching her, so surely it can't be that bad? God, she hopes he likes it, because she doesn't want him to stop touching her. ]
You need to hush about not measuring up to anything. To me, you're perfect, and my opinion is the only one that matters.
( Bucky slides his hands all over her body to prove his point, cupping her breasts and slipping his hands down her back to the curve of her ass. She's everything he wants and he doesn't know how to prove that to her. )
[ Well, that does the trick. She lights up, in that way she does when he does something nice for her like read to her while she's sick or hold her hand in public, and when she kisses him, she tries to push him to his back so can get on top of him. ]
You're perfect.
[ He's everything she's imagined and more, and they're even only just getting started. ]
( She's surprisingly strong for someone so small and Bucky falls back onto the bed easily enough. Of course, when he actually wants to fall, it's easy to do it, but he doesn't say that to Steph. It would definitely ruin the moment and he's not going to ruin the moment. )
Nah. Just decently put together. You though, you're a masterpiece.
[ She'll take it this once, though. Bask in all the attention and praise he wants to shower her with. Take in the way he looks at her, that she's finally enough, that she's finally worth loving and being with.
She catches on quickly with the kissing, even lingering on his neck to try to leave him with a love mark. Her hips move restlessly, instinct taking over, and she grabs one of his hands, wanting it between her legs. ]
( God, he's thought about this for so long it feels like he's done it a thousand times but when Steph pulls his hand between her legs, he stops thinking for a moment. It takes him a few seconds to move his fingers and he's shocked at the fact that she's already wet. Maybe he shouldn't be. He pushes at her lightly.)
[ She's thought about this for so long, but nothing she's tried has ever felt as good as him actually touching her. She moans, loudly, then for a second looks mortified that she's done so.
Is that why he wants to get up? She mumbles an embarrassed apology and awkwardly climbs off of him, all of a sudden unsure and worried. Did she do something wrong? Was she too much? She wonders that and more as she settles on her back on the space beside him. ]
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She follows his lead, though it's giving in to her own desires that she buries her fingers into his hair, an act she's always considered intimate and reserved for moments like these. She moans when his tongue slides into her mouth, and louder when his hand, though still over her dress, slides down to her thigh. God, the things she's thought of them doing...
It's with reluctance that they break the kiss several minutes later. She's out of breath and looking dazed; face flushed, eyes a little wild, heart beating fast. ]
I love you. I want you.
[ Because she has to say it too. ]
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( Maybe he would if there wasn't a war on but with the urgency of him leaving, he doesn't want to let this wait. He slides his hand under her skirt and lets his palm rest on her thigh; she's so thin that he feels like he could wrap his whole hand around her.
He doesn't stop kissing her, keeps kissing her like it's the only thing that's keeping him going, and nothing short of an asthma attack is going to get him to stop. )
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[ Now that they've established that this isn't a pity date or a pity relationship or a pity whatever, she's willing to reveal her hand. Jealousy hadn't been the only reason she'd been upset earlier; it was also the thought of time being so casually wasted. She doesn't have time. She's worried about him dying in the war but she could get there before he does, between her asthma and her weak heart and consumption making the rounds.
So she doesn't resist when he slips his hand under her skirt, but it's not as if she can stop the moan that leaves her at the feel of his hand on her skin. She's unable to stop her legs from parting either, heat running through her at the thought of what else he could touch. Or kiss. God, she's going to lose her mind if he goes down on her.
Emboldened, she starts to undo his tie, then the top buttons of his dress shirt, while they kiss. She's always wanted to run her palms down his chest, and her mouth after them. ]
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( He could have sex on this couch, if he wanted, but not in the position he wants. She's unbuttoning his shirt right now and he tips his head back to offer her more room to do it. If they leave clothes all over his place, he doesn't care. )
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Mmmm. Okay.
[ She's yearned for him for for so long and with the quiet desperation of a dying girl that she'd have been fine no matter where he wanted to do the deed or how quickly he'd choose to get it over and done with. It's stupid, really, the things people do even if they know it would inevitably hurt them. How will she cope without him? How will she cope without him, having had this? It's not fair. ]
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Once they're in his room, he sets her gently on her feet and starts working on the buttons of her dress. He knows he doesn't have to, that he can actually just flip it up and off, but this is sexier to him. )
I'm gonna make you melt. You know that, right?
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So she smiles; relieved, thrilled, enamored. She feels a rush of heat when she catches the intensity of his gaze and his promise, and her knees grow weak all of a sudden. She's sure neither has anything to do with her existing conditions. ]
You gonna recite poetry, James?
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( Bucky doesn't want to mess this up, actually, so if she wants poetry and candles he thinks he can rustle that up but he was actually just going to do what he knows how to do and hope that was good enough.
He's nervous. He's never been nervous. )
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Though there's one thing she really really wants, which she dares to ask, looking up at him: ] Will you let me sketch you later?
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( Bucky grins at her and finishes working on her dress, pushes it off. )
If you have a brain after this, go for it.
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Yeah, naked. I'll place it under my pillow, look at it when I'm feeling frisky.
[ She's nervous, so she's babbling. After all, she's standing in front of him, in his bedroom, in just her underwear. She knows she's not pretty by most people's standards, and not particularly interesting either. Is he sure about this? About her? ]
So, um. Where do you want me...?
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( Bucky steps closer to her and kisses her again. While he does, though, he unhooks her bra and tugs it off to toss onto the floor. He slides his hand up to cup one of her breasts and moves his lips along her jaw and neck and presses them against her ear. )
You're gorgeous, you know. I knew you would be.
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You thought about me a lot, huh?
[ More nervous babbling, in between moans and gasps and other sounds of pleasure. ]
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( Bucky hooks his hands in her underwear and tugs them down. She's unbuttoned his pants and he shimmies out of them. He isn't in anything but his shorts now and he pushes them away because he desperately needs to be naked.
The entire time, he's kissing her, and he backs her up to the bed as he does. )
There's so many things I'm gonna do to you.
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[ She has to laugh, though the sound is muffled since they're still kissing. They've both been so so stupid. Could've saved each other a lot of trouble and heartache, really. Could've had more time to enjoy each other.
She pulls back, a little breathless now, to look up at him. ] No more secrets, okay? Our friendship can handle it. Promise?
[ Then her gaze wanders, lower and lower, because they're both completely naked now and it's weird because he's her best friend, yet it's also perfect because he is. She can't imagine being vulnerable with anyone else. ]
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You see something you like down there or am I failing to measure up to the other nude portraits you've drawn?
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It's so easy to have fun around him. So easy to be happy. ]
I'm not sure. I'm gonna need a thorough examination.
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( Bucky pushes her down so he can lay alongside her and draws his fingers along the curve of one breast and down the curve of her waist and the flare of her hips. )
I knew you had a body under there. Just couldn't tell under all those clothes.
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[ She doesn't say other girls because she doesn't want to upset him again, though she's not pouty this time, but rather hopeful. He's touching her, so surely it can't be that bad? God, she hopes he likes it, because she doesn't want him to stop touching her. ]
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( Bucky slides his hands all over her body to prove his point, cupping her breasts and slipping his hands down her back to the curve of her ass. She's everything he wants and he doesn't know how to prove that to her. )
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You're perfect.
[ He's everything she's imagined and more, and they're even only just getting started. ]
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Nah. Just decently put together. You though, you're a masterpiece.
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[ She'll take it this once, though. Bask in all the attention and praise he wants to shower her with. Take in the way he looks at her, that she's finally enough, that she's finally worth loving and being with.
She catches on quickly with the kissing, even lingering on his neck to try to leave him with a love mark. Her hips move restlessly, instinct taking over, and she grabs one of his hands, wanting it between her legs. ]
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Get off me for a second, I want to do something.
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Is that why he wants to get up? She mumbles an embarrassed apology and awkwardly climbs off of him, all of a sudden unsure and worried. Did she do something wrong? Was she too much? She wonders that and more as she settles on her back on the space beside him. ]
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