Now that sounds amazing. Workshop you a speech over dinner then we'll deal with your hair afterward? You'll probably want a bath after all that anyway.
I've apparently been evading taxes for 80 years and they want me to declare my secret stash of Nazi gold that's so secret I know nothing about it. Know any accountants who have this kind of experience?
Wow. Look at you, already speaking like a true politician.
For real? Or is that what the trolls and conspiracy theorists are saying on the Internet? You don't only need an accountant, you also need a lawyer. That's libel. We could try Matt, actually.
[ Everything special about you came out of a bottle, Tony once snarked at her, and it still lives rent-free in her head. She has complicated feelings about her body. ]
Yeah, I know. Saw the one about us being secretly married? Guess they'll be coming for my ass for the Nazi gold too.
Of course I did. Just didn't think I'd live long enough to find someone who'll take me. I'm kind of a handful. Lots of baggage. Just a different kind now.
[How he could not is going to be one of the bigger mysteries of the multiverse. He just never got the signs. Too distracted looking elsewhere maybe, to have ever noticed the good things he keeps leaving behind.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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You hiring? I can even do it pro bono, for old times' sake.
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I'm not sure you qualify for the secret part of the secret service.
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I can wear a cap.
✌🏻
[ Just because it worked one time, Stephanie! ]
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Is it?
You just gotta hire an accountant. I can't bust you out if you go to jail for that.
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I've apparently been evading taxes for 80 years and they want me to declare my secret stash of Nazi gold that's so secret I know nothing about it. Know any accountants who have this kind of experience?
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For real? Or is that what the trolls and conspiracy theorists are saying on the Internet? You don't only need an accountant, you also need a lawyer. That's libel.
We could try Matt, actually.
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They say a lot of things on the internet about me, about you. A lawyer can't fix the internet. We just have to not care.
But I guess we need lawyers for everything these days. Especially when we're probably on the mayor's shitlist. Do you have his number?
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[ Everything special about you came out of a bottle, Tony once snarked at her, and it still lives rent-free in her head. She has complicated feelings about her body. ]
Yeah, I know. Saw the one about us being secretly married? Guess they'll be coming for my ass for the Nazi gold too.
Hang on, gimme a sec.
[ Matt's contact details follow. ]
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You ever thought about it? The big day with flowers and dresses and whatever. Half a dog and three picket fences.
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Gonna have to settle for the dog, I guess.
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Everyone comes with lots of baggage.
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Besides, anyone interested is half my age, and anyone my age is in a care home or not interested.
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[...]
You want me to go talk some sense into him?
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[ ... way to go, Stephanie. She can just take this back and say it's a joke, right? ]
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[...]
[...]
Oh
[#nailedit]
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[ Oh God please don't be mad. This is why she's never said anything. ]
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[How he could not is going to be one of the bigger mysteries of the multiverse. He just never got the signs. Too distracted looking elsewhere maybe, to have ever noticed the good things he keeps leaving behind.]
Sorry.
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