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[dysmorphics]

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[kalashnikov]

Yeah, you need better friends.

[dysmorphics]

I don't know, you're one of them.

[kalashnikov]

I think that backs my point up even more.

[dysmorphics]

My options are kind of limited though. The lads at the retirement home aren't really up to throwing bricks and punching Nazis anymore.

[kalashnikov]

Hey, I heard it's coming back around.

[dysmorphics]

We could start a club.

[kalashnikov]

Nazi punching club? I'm down.

[dysmorphics]

I'll make us recruitment posters. Put your face on them to really sell it.

[kalashnikov]

See, I'd think that would have the opposite effect somehow. Infamous for all the wrong reasons.

[dysmorphics]

No, it just shows we mean business with the Nazi punching and it's not some cover for a speed dating event or something like that. We've got a whole museum exhibit to back us up if they doubt our credentials.

[kalashnikov]

You get confused for speed dating often?

[dysmorphics]

No, but the Internet is terribly invested in my sex life.

[kalashnikov]

You want me to take down the world wide web? I could probably give it a reasonable go.

[dysmorphics]

What are you gonna do, make a burner account and yell at people in the comments section? Because I can back you up. Like or upvote or whatever you need.

[kalashnikov]

Who needs a burner? I already have a well known argumentative account. Jimmy R. Bastard of the forums.

[dysmorphics]

And you haven't been banned yet, Jimmy?

[kalashnikov]

Oh, they try. I just get that spider-kid to hack the system and let me back in. I pay him in pierogis.

[dysmorphics]

Those trolls must be so annoyed. And I'm impressed, Jimmy. You really thought this whole fighting the Internet thing through. Might actually stand a chance at winning.

[kalashnikov]

Gotta move with the times, right? And these days I don't know if I'd stop with just punching, so it's more for their sakes than it is mine.

[dysmorphics]

You can almost be cool uncle now, instead of grumpy grandpa.

[kalashnikov]

Speaking of, one of Becca's kids sent me a postcard. They're expecting. You wanna see it later?

[dysmorphics]

Yeah, please. That's great news.

Your back hurt yet, grandpa?

[ She's deflecting. While she's happy for them, she genuinely is, there's a part of her that realizes just how alone she is. Dead parents, no siblings or other known family members, no husband or kids. He's all she really has left. ]

Me trying to figure out if the math wow ... maybe a grandkid?

[kalashnikov]

Please. I'm a great uncle. That doesn't count so I'm still in the prime of my youth.

i'm here just, she won't call it as it is anyway so i can say whatever 😂

[dysmorphics]

Prime of youth, that explains the stupid then.

Are you sending a postcard back?

[kalashnikov]

Maybe.

I should send cash anyway, right? Or a gift. But I don't know shit about babies.