"You just nailed why I didn't mention not wanting to go," Bucky said with a soft laugh. "The other guys were all for it, but I just wanted to stay home with you. So I waited to get drafted instead of enlisting, then faked it after that." At least after all those years of pretending to be interested in other girls, Bucky had plenty of practice faking things. Maybe he shoulda gone into acting.
"If he got caught, he'd get thrown in jail, though. They'd still end up separated." And then Steph, small and sickly and wonderful, would be stranded somewhere unfamiliar on her own during exceptionally hard times, with no family of her own back home to return to. It was better to at least leave her where his family could try to keep an eye on her for him, wasn't it? Those were the sorts of things that Bucky thought about back then.
Unless it had worked, of course. But there was no way for them to know if it would have or not.
"You really are a dumbass," Steph sighed in exasperation, but there was a lot more affection in her tone than the words implied. She propped herself back up so she could kiss Bucky and murmur into his mouth, "But my dumbass."
He would choose to fall off a train and get tortured and his mind screwed than lose her, which was incredibly stupid, but who was she to call him out? She would choose to be experimented on and jump off planes without a parachute and get buried in the ice than lose him. So yeah, that shut down whatever ideas she might have had about interfering with their past. But going on that mission together, definitely. Just in case. If anything happened, they at least had each other.
Resting her forehead against his for a moment, she closed her eyes, then said quietly, "It might take me a while longer to forgive myself, so please bear with me, but I promise I won't run off and do anything that might separate us." She'd been trying to save everyone for so long, she hadn't realized she needed saving.
"Always have been," Bucky said with a quiet chuckle. He'd always been a dumbass, and he'd always been hers. He would do absolutely anything for the woman who was stretched out on top of him and he never wanted to be without her again.
Hell, the only reason he'd opted to stay in Wakanda so long was to make sure he was well enough that he would be safe for her to be around. The peace and quiet were great, and he grew to love those stupid goats, but it was all so maybe one day she would be safe with him. Bucky was well ware that he would never be perfect--the doctors in Wakanda called it PTSD?--but he was a hell of a lot better than he had been before.
"I don't think there's anything you need to forgive yourself for," he told her and let his own eyes slide closed. "But I get it. And I'll be here with you while you work on it, yeah?"
"Thank you." It wasn't healthy, Steph knew. Hell, she probably should be going to therapy — not that she believed in the stuff. But that Bucky understood and would be there for her was more than enough. He had always been all that she needed.
They snuggled in companionable silence, which also meant they were able to catch the end of the movie. She then pushed herself up to get off the couch and put on another film, though not without stealing a kiss first. It was so nice to be free to do that as much as she wanted. Which was going to be a lot. "Care for another, or do you wanna do something else?"
She absolutely wanted to have sex again, but found herself chickening out from outright saying or initiating it.
Bucky didn't hesitate to kiss Steph back before she got up, then watched her with a small grin on his face as she moved around the room. "You can turn on another movie if you want," he told her simply. "I mean, we can always just ignore it if we decide we want to do something else."
Besides, it wasn't exactly like he had any big plans for the day. Just... spending time with Steph. The next day was when they were supposed to go buy wedding clothes and whatnot. She had a much better grip on modern things, such as movies, technology, and different kinds of activities, than he did anyway.
"I don't care what we do today, dove. Long as it's with you."
Steph rummaged through her DVDs, then perked up with an, "Oh!" She turned to Bucky and held up The Lord of the Rings. "They made a sequel to The Hobbit." She pulled the disc out and handed him the case so he could look it over while she set things up, after which she resumed curling up beside him.
"I've never actually seen this," she confessed with a soft laugh. "I kept thinking you would've loved to watch this, and it made me sad and decide not to." Then there was just so much avenging, especially after the whole HYDRA fiasco. "I bought the trilogy while you were in Wakanda, hoping to watch it with you one day."
One day did come, just over five long years later.
Bucky blinked a bit when Steph told him about the sequel, then reached out and took the case from her, looking it over. "I loved The Hobbit," he said with a smile. He'd read it multiple times after it came out, completely enraptured by the world Tolkien had built. "And this was based on a book? Not just a random movie they made?"
If it was a book, he was going to have to track it down to read for himself. He didn't even know or care what it was about, but it sounded amazing. After a moment, Bucky tossed the case onto the coffee table and rolled onto his side on the couch, a slight look of excitement on his face as he held his arm up, offering the space in front of him so he could hold her while they watched the movie. Because dammit, there was a much higher chance of Bucky actually paying attention to this one.
(Though, what he saw of Treasure Planet had also been very good.)
"Yeah, it's a trilogy or something? We should be able to find it easily, it's very popular," Steph answered as she finished setting things up. Then she settled into the space Bucky had reserved for her, snuggling close.
He was so happy. The last time she'd seen him this happy, not counting two days ago, was before the war. She was going to do her best to keep it that way.
The movie wasn't animated, but she had taken an interest in fantasy and scifi after she woke up in the future — because he had loved those genres, and it was a way for her to feel like he was still around. It seemed like there was finally a way she could put that knowledge to use, so while they watched, she made a mental list of movies and books to show him.
When Steph settled against him on the couch, Bucky pulled the throw blanket off the back to cover the two of them, then wrapped his arm around her middle to hold her close. She was warm against him, but that didn't stop him from getting a chill more easily than he used to. Probably from all his time frozen. And he currently only had his underwear and tank top until they washed those spare clothes Steph had dug out for him.
Besides, curling up under a blanket together just seemed like it would be... comfortable. And didn't the two of them deserve to be comfortable?
The movie was good enough that they were a little while into it before Bucky spoke again. But it really had nothing to do with the movie itself. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he told her, his voice soft.
Steph had found Bucky's hand and laced their fingers together, wanting to be close to him in all the ways possible. When he spoke, she gave it a good squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere. You'll never be without my dumb ass giving you grief," she assured him.
After a moment she added, more seriously, "But just in case something like Thanos happens again... live for me, okay? Or at least try. Don't do what I did and waste away."
Easier said than done, of course. And she was probably being a hypocrite again, because she wasn't sure she could bear losing him a third time.
Sighing, Bucky tightened his arms around her. "I can't promise that, Steph," he told her honestly. "I'll try, but I can't promise it'd work." He'd try. Maybe. Probably.
"I guess we'll just have to work to make sure none of that shit happens again. Or we could just retire and stay out of it from now on." He never wanted to be in the fight in the first place, as evidenced by the fact that he was drafted, even though the Smithsonian insisted he enlisted. Instead, Bucky had always just wanted to have a good, peaceful life with his dreamgirl.
But at least now they were engaged, so he was getting closer to that goal.
"Retirement sounds good. I'm so tired, Buck." Steph had already told him that, but she wanted him to know she was serious about it and it wasn't just part of some adrenaline-fueled post-battle confession. "Sam can have the shield. He does what I do, just slower," she said with a small chuckle to herself as she parrotted Sam's own line. "He'll make a good Captain America, though he'll have the work cut out for him." She had a hard enough time being a woman, despite being traditionally American-looking, with her blonde hair and baby blues.
She shifted to peer up at Bucky then. "Where do you wanna go? We gotta go somewhere they can't find us so we don't get roped into shit anymore." She was a do gooder by nature, so she'd have to position herself away from temptation. If their friends showed up needing help, she might not be able to say no.
"So am I." Bucky felt like he'd been tired for eighty years or more, which he sort of had been. Up until a couple of days ago, he'd felt his best when he was staying in Wakanda, but even there he was tired all the time. And he didn't care who Steph gave the shield to, just that if she retired, he would be going with her. And if she didn't (he really hoped she did, though), he'd still be going with her.
"I don't know. Somewhere with running water. And electricity." Bucky had neither in his shack, and while he adapted, he didn't want to have to live like that forever. "But we've got time to figure it out. We both have loose ends we need to deal with before we can just leave town." And no matter where they went, Steph had friends. Eventually, someone would show up wanting her help, which meant they'd also get Bucky's help. But it would have to be a pretty dire situation for him to not try to talk Steph out of helping. "You have anywhere in mind?"
"Definitely not anywhere that freezes, but also where we don't stick out too much. We can scout some locations and add them to our honeymooon itinerary?" They'd initially decided to go somewhere in Asia for the beaches, but outside of the tourist areas they would stand out, and Bucky probably might not like getting sand into his arm on a regular basis. They should have time to figure out their future living though. They certainly have the means to afford it.
Her expression suddenly turned thoughtful. "Though we could just stay in the area. Remember those houses we liked looking at and joked about buying when we got older? Maybe one of them's for sale. We just make everyone think we moved to, I dunno, Alaska."
"We could probably take our time checking places out," he started, grinning as he ran a hand up and down the side of her arm. "With the trial and everything resettling, it's not like we know what's going to be going on a year from now anyway."
Bucky chuckled softly as he nuzzled the back of Steph's head with the tip of his nose, his eyes sliding closed. "What, like hint about how much I liked Romania, but don't mention buying a house here?" That would be kinda funny, actually, and he wondered how long they would be able to pull off living under everyone's noses without them noticing. "I honestly don't know where else I'd wanna go. I never really pictured retiring anywhere but Brooklyn when we were kids. Nowhere that gets worse winters than here, though. Not if we can help it, alright?"
"Yeah, that's the idea." Steph laughed. "We'll probably be traveling a lot anyway, so we won't really be home all that much either. And we can always go somewhere warm during winter." Like migratory birds. It wasn't actually a bad idea. Between the rest of the world, and space, there was so much for them to see.
She pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat, then nestled back against him again. "Me either. Or anywhere you wanted, in those times I allowed myself to dream." Most of the time she just assumed she was going to die young while he'd marry some other girl who would take care of him instead of the other way around. "I liked that house at the end of the street. The one that looked haunted." A cranky middle-aged man who'd fought in the war with her Da lived in that one; it was only once she was on the front too that she understood how war changed a person.
Bucky smiled softly as he closed his eyes, enjoying just being with Steph. Sure, he was loving the movie and all, it was fantastic, but he didn't mind ignoring it in favor of the amazing woman he had stretched out against him. Besides, they were discussing their future together, and that was what he'd always wanted, wasn't it? A future at Steph's side.
"I remember that house," Bucky said with a chuckle. "Hell, I wonder how many of the houses we used to like are even still standing." So many places he remembered from before were gone in one way or another already. What was there to say that something as simple as houses would still be there? "But... I do like the idea of always coming back here between trips. Keeping Brooklyn our home." Bucky might not have moved there until he was an older kid, but he didn't have any real attachment to Indiana. Brooklyn, on the other hand, was where he met the girl of his dreams. Sure, he could live wherever, but deep down Brooklyn was his home, just like it was hers.
"Sounds like a plan for later then," Steph said with a soft laugh. "Wedding first, then honeymoon." They had her apartment for now anyway; the only problem they might have was if they got rough with their lovemaking and started cracking the walls or breaking the furniture. Or if her neighbors complained about them being loud.
For now though, they were lounging lazily on the couch, watching a movie and every so often talking about their future. She wanted a shower (and sex in the shower) at some point, but she was in no rush. Avengers business would have to wait. The world, the universe, they would all have to wait. She and Bucky had waited long enough for their turn.
A random idea struck her then. "Hey, you wanna meet Tolkien?" Because they could do that without botching up timelines, right? Nothing too crazy, just maybe an encounter in a pub or library or whichever public place the man frequented.
"Wedding first," Bucky agreed. More than the honeymoon, more than the talk of time travel, Bucky wanted to be able to call Steph his wife. Legally and officially. It was what he'd always wanted, and it couldn't happen soon enough.
He wasn't even paying all that much attention to the movie any more. Instead, Bucky was enjoying simply being with her. He still half-listened to the movie, sure, but he was more interested in listening to her talk about their future together as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.
"I don't need all that. The man might want to be left alone," he said simply. Reading his books was good enough for him. He didn't need to be one of those people who went around harassing people.
Especially in a city he didn't know well in another time. Cause the man had to be dead by then.
"Well, if there's anything else you wanna do, in another time or in space or wherever, just lemme know, okay?" Steph was happy to give Bucky anything he wanted, especially now that she could. She just loved him so much and wanted him to be happy with her.
The wedding was her priority too though; she'd waited and dreamed of being his wife long enough, and the universe had gotten in the way so many times. Then the trial, actually. The honeymoon and the traveling will be the easiest part.
The movie was long, so nearing the end she asked, "Want some snacks?" because even doing nothing they still had supersoldier metabolism.
"I'll let you know if I think of anything, alright?" he told her. And he meant it, too. Knowing they could go anywhere or anywhen opened up a whole bunch of places and times they could go, but, honestly, his favorite ideas were probably the ones they'd already discussed. Seeing Becca and Mrs. Rogers, and getting to let them know that they'd been right all along. The two of them did end up together.
Plus, Bucky just wanted to actually be able to say goodbye to his sister. She was the person from his past that he missed the most.
"I almost always want snacks, but I'm too comfortable to get up right now."
"I don't really wanna get up either," Steph agreed. "I'm tired and sore and you make a great pillow."
They watched the rest of the movie in silence. It was nice, really. To be able to talk to him about anything — and this time, they had no secrets, or at least she hoped there would never have to be any again — but also to just relax and do nothing, if that was what either of them wanted.
A thought crossed her mind as the film headed toward its end, but she waited until the credits rolled to peer up at him and ask, "Buck?" Her expression was pensive. "If there's a way to reverse the effects of the serum, would you wanna take it? I mean, I dunno, just enough so we like... age normally?"
By the end of the movie, Bucky was content enough that he was half tempted to take a nap, but he also wanted to stay away to just be with Steph longer.
He thought about her question before answering, though. "I don't know. Maybe," he said, shrugging his good shoulder. "If you did it, I would, cause I don't wanna have to keep living for way too long if you're not with me for it." God, it would be awful to outlive her. Just the idea of living in a world without Steph was awful, and Bucky didn't want to think about it, even though it was something Bucky knew she'd had to live through herself. Twice. "But at the same time, we've got a lotta years to make up for. Ones we missed out on."
"Hey, I'm not outliving you a third time. You gotta let me go first, or we go together." Steph might be teasing, but she meant it. If Bucky ever died again, especially now that she knew they loved each other, she sure as hell would be looking for a way to follow immediately. Maybe she did need to ask someone to look into the serum, just in case.
They were definitely making up for lost time first though. She would gladly live another hundred years as long as they were together. But no more fighting, and no freezing winters.
"Want me to put on the second movie?" Though the only other option that didn't involve moving was a nap.
"Together it is, then," Bucky stated, as though it was simple as that. Because he didn't plan on living without her. Especially not now that he knew she felt just as much for him as he felt for her.
But until then, he would gladly take all the time he could get by her side. And in a couple days she'd be his wife, then she'd really never get rid of him.
"If you want, sure," he said, grinning. "The first one was good. When I was paying attention, at least. I'm gonna have to get these books to read."
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"If he got caught, he'd get thrown in jail, though. They'd still end up separated." And then Steph, small and sickly and wonderful, would be stranded somewhere unfamiliar on her own during exceptionally hard times, with no family of her own back home to return to. It was better to at least leave her where his family could try to keep an eye on her for him, wasn't it? Those were the sorts of things that Bucky thought about back then.
Unless it had worked, of course. But there was no way for them to know if it would have or not.
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He would choose to fall off a train and get tortured and his mind screwed than lose her, which was incredibly stupid, but who was she to call him out? She would choose to be experimented on and jump off planes without a parachute and get buried in the ice than lose him. So yeah, that shut down whatever ideas she might have had about interfering with their past. But going on that mission together, definitely. Just in case. If anything happened, they at least had each other.
Resting her forehead against his for a moment, she closed her eyes, then said quietly, "It might take me a while longer to forgive myself, so please bear with me, but I promise I won't run off and do anything that might separate us." She'd been trying to save everyone for so long, she hadn't realized she needed saving.
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Hell, the only reason he'd opted to stay in Wakanda so long was to make sure he was well enough that he would be safe for her to be around. The peace and quiet were great, and he grew to love those stupid goats, but it was all so maybe one day she would be safe with him. Bucky was well ware that he would never be perfect--the doctors in Wakanda called it PTSD?--but he was a hell of a lot better than he had been before.
"I don't think there's anything you need to forgive yourself for," he told her and let his own eyes slide closed. "But I get it. And I'll be here with you while you work on it, yeah?"
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They snuggled in companionable silence, which also meant they were able to catch the end of the movie. She then pushed herself up to get off the couch and put on another film, though not without stealing a kiss first. It was so nice to be free to do that as much as she wanted. Which was going to be a lot. "Care for another, or do you wanna do something else?"
She absolutely wanted to have sex again, but found herself chickening out from outright saying or initiating it.
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Besides, it wasn't exactly like he had any big plans for the day. Just... spending time with Steph. The next day was when they were supposed to go buy wedding clothes and whatnot. She had a much better grip on modern things, such as movies, technology, and different kinds of activities, than he did anyway.
"I don't care what we do today, dove. Long as it's with you."
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"I've never actually seen this," she confessed with a soft laugh. "I kept thinking you would've loved to watch this, and it made me sad and decide not to." Then there was just so much avenging, especially after the whole HYDRA fiasco. "I bought the trilogy while you were in Wakanda, hoping to watch it with you one day."
One day did come, just over five long years later.
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If it was a book, he was going to have to track it down to read for himself. He didn't even know or care what it was about, but it sounded amazing. After a moment, Bucky tossed the case onto the coffee table and rolled onto his side on the couch, a slight look of excitement on his face as he held his arm up, offering the space in front of him so he could hold her while they watched the movie. Because dammit, there was a much higher chance of Bucky actually paying attention to this one.
(Though, what he saw of Treasure Planet had also been very good.)
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He was so happy. The last time she'd seen him this happy, not counting two days ago, was before the war. She was going to do her best to keep it that way.
The movie wasn't animated, but she had taken an interest in fantasy and scifi after she woke up in the future — because he had loved those genres, and it was a way for her to feel like he was still around. It seemed like there was finally a way she could put that knowledge to use, so while they watched, she made a mental list of movies and books to show him.
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Besides, curling up under a blanket together just seemed like it would be... comfortable. And didn't the two of them deserve to be comfortable?
The movie was good enough that they were a little while into it before Bucky spoke again. But it really had nothing to do with the movie itself. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he told her, his voice soft.
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After a moment she added, more seriously, "But just in case something like Thanos happens again... live for me, okay? Or at least try. Don't do what I did and waste away."
Easier said than done, of course. And she was probably being a hypocrite again, because she wasn't sure she could bear losing him a third time.
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"I guess we'll just have to work to make sure none of that shit happens again. Or we could just retire and stay out of it from now on." He never wanted to be in the fight in the first place, as evidenced by the fact that he was drafted, even though the Smithsonian insisted he enlisted. Instead, Bucky had always just wanted to have a good, peaceful life with his dreamgirl.
But at least now they were engaged, so he was getting closer to that goal.
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She shifted to peer up at Bucky then. "Where do you wanna go? We gotta go somewhere they can't find us so we don't get roped into shit anymore." She was a do gooder by nature, so she'd have to position herself away from temptation. If their friends showed up needing help, she might not be able to say no.
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"I don't know. Somewhere with running water. And electricity." Bucky had neither in his shack, and while he adapted, he didn't want to have to live like that forever. "But we've got time to figure it out. We both have loose ends we need to deal with before we can just leave town." And no matter where they went, Steph had friends. Eventually, someone would show up wanting her help, which meant they'd also get Bucky's help. But it would have to be a pretty dire situation for him to not try to talk Steph out of helping. "You have anywhere in mind?"
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Her expression suddenly turned thoughtful. "Though we could just stay in the area. Remember those houses we liked looking at and joked about buying when we got older? Maybe one of them's for sale. We just make everyone think we moved to, I dunno, Alaska."
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Bucky chuckled softly as he nuzzled the back of Steph's head with the tip of his nose, his eyes sliding closed. "What, like hint about how much I liked Romania, but don't mention buying a house here?" That would be kinda funny, actually, and he wondered how long they would be able to pull off living under everyone's noses without them noticing. "I honestly don't know where else I'd wanna go. I never really pictured retiring anywhere but Brooklyn when we were kids. Nowhere that gets worse winters than here, though. Not if we can help it, alright?"
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She pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat, then nestled back against him again. "Me either. Or anywhere you wanted, in those times I allowed myself to dream." Most of the time she just assumed she was going to die young while he'd marry some other girl who would take care of him instead of the other way around. "I liked that house at the end of the street. The one that looked haunted." A cranky middle-aged man who'd fought in the war with her Da lived in that one; it was only once she was on the front too that she understood how war changed a person.
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"I remember that house," Bucky said with a chuckle. "Hell, I wonder how many of the houses we used to like are even still standing." So many places he remembered from before were gone in one way or another already. What was there to say that something as simple as houses would still be there? "But... I do like the idea of always coming back here between trips. Keeping Brooklyn our home." Bucky might not have moved there until he was an older kid, but he didn't have any real attachment to Indiana. Brooklyn, on the other hand, was where he met the girl of his dreams. Sure, he could live wherever, but deep down Brooklyn was his home, just like it was hers.
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being loud.
For now though, they were lounging lazily on the couch, watching a movie and every so often talking about their future. She wanted a shower (and sex in the shower) at some point, but she was in no rush. Avengers business would have to wait. The world, the universe, they would all have to wait. She and Bucky had waited long enough for their turn.
A random idea struck her then. "Hey, you wanna meet Tolkien?" Because they could do that without botching up timelines, right? Nothing too crazy, just maybe an encounter in a pub or library or whichever public place the man frequented.
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He wasn't even paying all that much attention to the movie any more. Instead, Bucky was enjoying simply being with her. He still half-listened to the movie, sure, but he was more interested in listening to her talk about their future together as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.
"I don't need all that. The man might want to be left alone," he said simply. Reading his books was good enough for him. He didn't need to be one of those people who went around harassing people.
Especially in a city he didn't know well in another time. Cause the man had to be dead by then.
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The wedding was her priority too though; she'd waited and dreamed of being his wife long enough, and the universe had gotten in the way so many times. Then the trial, actually. The honeymoon and the traveling will be the easiest part.
The movie was long, so nearing the end she asked, "Want some snacks?" because even doing nothing they still had supersoldier metabolism.
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Plus, Bucky just wanted to actually be able to say goodbye to his sister. She was the person from his past that he missed the most.
"I almost always want snacks, but I'm too comfortable to get up right now."
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They watched the rest of the movie in silence. It was nice, really. To be able to talk to him about anything — and this time, they had no secrets, or at least she hoped there would never have to be any again — but also to just relax and do nothing, if that was what either of them wanted.
A thought crossed her mind as the film headed toward its end, but she waited until the credits rolled to peer up at him and ask, "Buck?" Her expression was pensive. "If there's a way to reverse the effects of the serum, would you wanna take it? I mean, I dunno, just enough so we like... age normally?"
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He thought about her question before answering, though. "I don't know. Maybe," he said, shrugging his good shoulder. "If you did it, I would, cause I don't wanna have to keep living for way too long if you're not with me for it." God, it would be awful to outlive her. Just the idea of living in a world without Steph was awful, and Bucky didn't want to think about it, even though it was something Bucky knew she'd had to live through herself. Twice. "But at the same time, we've got a lotta years to make up for. Ones we missed out on."
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They were definitely making up for lost time first though. She would gladly live another hundred years as long as they were together. But no more fighting, and no freezing winters.
"Want me to put on the second movie?" Though the only other option that didn't involve moving was a nap.
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But until then, he would gladly take all the time he could get by her side. And in a couple days she'd be his wife, then she'd really never get rid of him.
"If you want, sure," he said, grinning. "The first one was good. When I was paying attention, at least. I'm gonna have to get these books to read."
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