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[dysmorphics]

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[dysmorphics]

Sure. That's why you never said anything.

[ She doesn't believe him. ]

Yeah, so? If I said anything while you were in Wakanda you'd have just felt like you owed it to me to be okay with it. I just want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me.

[expedient]

Okay. Maybe I never thought thought about us that way. I don't know. But if you had said something back then, who knows? ( he had all the boyish confidence back then, he likely would've gone into it without much thought. )

You don't think this might be a bad idea? You don't think you deserve better? I am not the same Bucky you knew.

[dysmorphics]

It's okay. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. I was never pretty or interesting enough for that kind of thing.

[ The serum changed all that, but she'd never really come to terms with it. She still feels like a stranger in her own body. ]

Yeah, no shit. You're more interesting. Less shallow. [ Of course she thinks this is a bad idea. Their friendship is at stake here. But she didn't want him to think she thought poorly of him. If anything, he's the one who deserves better than her. ] But really, we don't gotta do this. Just forget I said anything, okay?

[expedient]

Come on. I always thought you were pretty. ( why else would the girls in school bully her so much and didn't some of the boys tug at her ponytail? bucky sure had a grand ol' time pulling her away from the major fights, all kicking and screaming. she was a feisty one. )

Less shallow? Well, yeah. Guess I'm just old. ( he did use to date every skirt in town. )

So. What kind of flowers do you want?

[dysmorphics]

You thought everyone was pretty.

[ She's pretty now, she can say that objectively, but back then she hadn't been pretty enough to date. Or so she believed. ]

Sunflowers.
Wait why are we still doing this?

[expedient]

( what can he say? he's always attracted to a good personality more than anything. everything else is just a bonus. )

Why not? Either way, we're having dinner and a movie. Might as well give this a shot.

( what's the worst that could happen? they both realize it's weird and go back to just being friends? no biggie. it'll be fine. )

[dysmorphics]

Promise you'll just laugh it off if it doesn't work out? You're not gonna be weird?

[ Though how much different is it going to be? They hang out all the time. Just without any kissing. ]

1/3

[expedient]

What are you talking about? I never get weird.

2/3

[expedient]

🍆

3/3

[expedient]

Sorry. My finger slipped. Meant to send you a 🥒. Like, you know, I'm cool as a cucumber?

[dysmorphics]

[ Oh God of course he's going to be insufferable about this. ]

Sure you did. And that doesn't mean what you think it means, old man.

[expedient]

Oh, come on. Obviously I know. It's a functional tool. Kids these days need to be reminded to eat their fruits and vegetables.

[dysmorphics]

Oh, yeah. Like 🍑

[ What? He started it! ]

[expedient]

Mm. What's not to love about a perfectly ripe and juicy peach?
So tasty.

[dysmorphics]

[ She hates that she can't tell if he's shitting her or if he truly doesn't know. She'll assume he's shitting her.

Naturally, she doesn't back down. ]

🍈🍈 too. 🤤

[expedient]

Is that what I'll be having for dessert tomorrow?

[dysmorphics]

If you want.

[ Oh hey maybe her sexy lingerie will finally see some action. Or not. If he literally just wants to have melons for dessert. ]

You picking me up or are we meeting somewhere?

[expedient]

Of course I'll pick you up. I'll ring the doorbell and everything. I'll be there on time too.

[dysmorphics]

Wow. Showing them how it's done, huh? The little boys on Tinder could never.

[expedient]

Impressed already?
Don't make it too easy for me, Rogers.

[dysmorphics]

Oh, no. I'm just holding you to the standard you set for yourself. Don't disappoint me now.

[expedient]

Oh, come on. When have I ever kept you waiting?

( he's always been on time. he's disciplined like that. )

[dysmorphics]

I dunno, you could've asked me out in 1941.

[ She just had to. Might as well capitalize on the embarrassment of her confession. ]

[expedient]

Is that why you said no every time I tried to set you up with one of my friends?

( of course she would have had a thing for him back then. that bucky was all charm and innocent youth. the grim truth clicks into place, and he can't fault the logic. who would fall for the wreckage of the winter soldier over the man he used to be? he's built from scars now, inside and out. beneath the practiced smiles and forced easygoing nature, he's just a collection of old wounds—a ghost trying to remember how to be flesh and blood. )

I wish I had known how you felt back then. ( the words are out, sincere and aching for a lost moment that never happened—could've, would've, should've—and they leave a colder question lingering in their wake: what if he's not that guy anymore? what if the man she wants is just another casualty he left behind in the past? )

[dysmorphics]

Your friends were boring. They didn't even read.

[ She liked that part of him that hadn't been trying to impress anyone. The little nerd who read Tolkien and was delighted by (barely) flying cars. The way he looked after his family and doted on his sister. How he believed in Steph when she couldn't believe in herself, even helping her get into art school. Was it any surprise she'd followed him into the war? ]

It wouldn't have changed anything. At least now you get the new me. [ Still broken, just in a different way. But maybe in a way he understands. ] You don't gotta worry about me dying anymore. And I'm really pretty now.